Intimacy: Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking...

By Anonymous - 04/07/2012 17:01 - United States - South Gate

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 682

You deserved it 37 472

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 19:18 - United States

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 745

You deserved it 37 969

By Lonely - 02/01/2010 10:30 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 424

You deserved it 7 454

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 426

You deserved it 2 509

Cranking

By Lonely Wanker - 26/02/2021 23:00

Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 374

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 213

You deserved it 39 612

Can't be bothered

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 00:30

Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 1 736

Let it out

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 14:02

Today, I know it’s pathetic to cry after sex, so you can imagine how pathetic I feel when I cry after masturbating, because cleaning my vibrator afterwards just reminds me how long it’s been since I had a man, and how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 341

You deserved it 1 545

Woman DESTROYS her sex life with FACTS and some sort of LOGIC

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 22:59

Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 1 127

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 929

Today, on Dr. Phil…

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 18:00

Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 922

You deserved it 478

perdix 29

Thursday 5 July 2012 0:29

If you have a big dick, it's narcissistic. If you have a little winky, it's hilarious!

doctorhook86 24

Thursday 5 July 2012 0:49

I don't see a gender on this FML, so I'm choosing to believe that Megan Fox wrote it.

Comments

SmackinSluts 1

Friday 13 July 2012 10:07

You need to get laid.

Smilebaileyboo 0

Friday 13 July 2012 23:29

it makes u sexy

kayliers 5

Monday 16 July 2012 7:22

Um. Ew.

MU_City 0

Wednesday 18 July 2012 0:22

Haha kind of pathetic dude

15949058 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 15:41

Ummmmmmmm I think it depends on what makes you happy.

corinna12124 0

Friday 3 August 2012 7:19

Ur pathetic

I_am_original 1

Monday 6 August 2012 22:09

If you are a female it is narcissism, if you are male it is being pathetic.

mrsmaglietta 6

Thursday 16 August 2012 11:44

It makes you sexy

dr3amcatchr 2

Monday 27 August 2012 4:20

You really Don't know which it is? It's narcissistic! Jeez. Hahahaha

ZombieKitteh 8

Thursday 11 October 2012 5:23

I've always wondered if an attractive gay person could do that. Seems like there's no way it could work if you're straight.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 3 148

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 155

The Top

Today, I had my guy over for some sexy times. Things stopped before they even started. I watched him pick his nose then wipe it on my freshly changed sheets. He denied it when I called him out on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 076

You deserved it 1 546

Today, my parents screamed at me for being diagnosed as depressed, because I’m not allowed to be depressed, because me being depressed makes them look like bad parents who couldn’t raise a happy, normal child, so I have to be happy or I’ll be punished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 144

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 099

You deserved it 2 446

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 143

You deserved it 20 333

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 864

You deserved it 8 419

Today, my doctor's office called to reschedule. I hate sacrificing work time at all, but I have to have my contraceptive. The appointment had been set back once already due to insurance issues, and having to wait until November means I'm going to run out… so now I sound like a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 195