Intimacy: Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing...

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By Anonymous - 07/05/2011 00:22 - United States

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 529

You deserved it 4 698

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Same thing different taste

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 890

You deserved it 612

Priorities

By elly - 08/04/2021 14:00

Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 177

By ow - 13/06/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 017

You deserved it 4 775

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 140

Light sentence

By ClumsyTeen - 13/05/2021 23:57 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 2 208

Unbelievable

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 17:39 - Spain - Mon?var

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 010

You deserved it 3 461

Life is pain

By pussy - 21/04/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, since my family and friends always make fun of me for being a wuss when it comes to pain, when I stubbed my toe, I made a point to not scream or complain in any way. Instead, I vomited and fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 246

By Unlucky - 09/10/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 4 957

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 722

You deserved it 7 587

Convoluted

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 04:00

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 732

fatalkiss 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:32

My parents were all, "orgasms are natural & beautiful things, after all, thats how we created you."

BugsBunny1 4

Saturday 7 May 2011 6:35

For some reason, your username and comment look very strange together.

Comments

xTexasLonghorn1 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:32

u must really like stubbing your toe to get that kind of groan.

kathii01 20

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:38

right. I don't know what kind of sex her parents are having to confuse that....

rawr9able 4

Saturday 7 May 2011 10:21

Sado-masochism.

Belovan 2

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:32

Give them reason to give you the talk.

nickdunbar 8

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:36

your parents need to get their mind out of the gutter

balest22 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 15:24

my teacher always say that to me hahaahaha

please_shoot_me 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 13:17

you need to get your mind off the XBox.

flickyourbic1223 7

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:36

If your parents confuse moaning from pain with moaning from pleasure maybe they should reevaluate the message they're sending to you.

cherrybitches 6

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:37

lol thank god I didn't get the talk from my parents instead the school XD

lilai1396 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 18:54

GIR! Sorry had to, fangirlness took over. Anyways, I agree, much better with school. After all, you get to watch everyones horrified faces....

cherrybitches 6

Saturday 7 May 2011 22:57

haha ikr

AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:43

Who moans in pain? O_o I growl :P

FatElie 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 10:46

Grr

mikuxxhatsune 32

Thursday 17 September 2015 15:38

My thoughts too! I yelp really weirdly xD but I have never head anyone moan.

blackcherryshot 1

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:46

Nicccccce

tylerlovejoy 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:47

snatch the mic from you bitch ima let you finish in a minute yeah this rap tight so you might want to go back to the lab tonight

smhansen92 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 6:00

first of all you missed an entire line from that lyric. scrub

HighAsTheStars 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 6:13

.... the ****?!

Helloiloveyou199_fml 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:48

haha awesome the ol' I stubbed my toe excuse...

TurboTits 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:49

Sounds like the possible beginning to a porno. Incest is wincest?

GeneralGreivous3 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 5:53

LIES!!! Incest is NOT wincest!

smhansen92 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 7:32

why does general grievous have a profile pic of darth maul..?

GeneralGreivous3 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 19:39

cuz I can.

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Same thing different taste

Priorities

You're grounded!

Light sentence

Unbelievable

Life is pain

Convoluted

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