Kids: Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her.... - FML

By Username - 13/09/2010 01:38 - France

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 377

You deserved it 31 410

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Same thing different taste

By Aldoch - 30/05/2012 22:41

Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 045

You deserved it 4 841

By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 01:13 - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 204

You deserved it 18 847

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 139

You deserved it 3 515

In the doghouse

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 16:00

Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 91

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 224

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 893

You deserved it 30 899

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 442

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 840

You deserved it 3 055

Not her fault nor mine

By Shut up loser! - 02/12/2019 03:00

Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 535

You deserved it 462

By jessi - 02/12/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 153

You deserved it 6 675

Next

Top comments

Mclovin_95 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:03

haha what a little bitch xD

3ddie_the_head 0

Monday 13 September 2010 9:04

Smart ass kid.

Comments

rzbt21 0

Monday 13 September 2010 12:47

I got beat as a child to learn discipline. no, I'm not some old child-hating redneck, I'm 15

LilaBear 1

Monday 13 September 2010 14:02

I highly doubt you were beaten. There is a difference between being spanked and being beaten. Oh, and nothing about your comment makes you sound like a child-hating redneck... so I don't know why you even bothered mentioning it.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 13 September 2010 14:52

Why would you doubt what they said? Some parents used belts or switch (stripped tree branch). I classify that as a beating more than a spanking. If he/she said they were beaten, you should take them at their word unless there's actually evidence to the contrary.

imsogangster13 0

Monday 13 September 2010 12:51

thatts child abusee bitchh , so YDI x's 99

Cpeddlar 0

Thursday 6 September 2012 4:56

are you dumb or just stupid

mrbattleman 10

Monday 13 September 2010 12:51

I did that once when I was three. my parents brought it

afallingstar 22

Monday 13 September 2010 12:52

do it! if you don't get her to behave and respect you now she never will...

Mr_26 0

Monday 13 September 2010 12:53

Tell that walking and breathing ball of shit "oh yeah?" and then beat her head in with a crowbar.

slient_death 0

Monday 13 September 2010 12:56

lmao thats meannnnn xD lol

randomnameflob 0

Monday 13 September 2010 12:57

The OP started crying and jumped on FML to complain about her daughter.

NoraT_fml 6

Monday 13 September 2010 12:58

haha lil kids a smartass

bouncer_detail 0

Monday 13 September 2010 13:03

Please tell me you put that little 'B' through a wall?! She can think about what she did while unconscious and apologize after she wakes up.

jgray106 3

Monday 13 September 2010 13:04

hahahaha! your daughter is my hero!

mnemonicdaze 0

Monday 13 September 2010 13:16

But um...you're holding a chainsaw... I'm kidding I'm all for a good ole fashioned slap upside the whatever. Especially those moments when you say something smart and then can't figure out where the hand that just hit you came from. That confusion alone will make you stop. My mom had ninja hands.

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You deserved it 12 278

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I agree, your life sucks 39 807

You deserved it 2 211

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I agree, your life sucks 28 605

You deserved it 10 475

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 390

You deserved it 26 481

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 950

You deserved it 2 810