Doesn't change the fact that she needs to be making good grades anyways, not just for a reward, or in this case, to avoid punishment. Plus if you can tell her that she needs to make better grades so that she can go that means she wasn't trying in the first place and after homecoming chances are she will continue to slip as far as grades go.

Agreed. Almost no one actually cares about or really remembers homecoming after high school anyway.

I'm not a teen and think it's unfair. . . Like I stated earlier, unless she was forwarned, it seems like a harsh punishment. Parents have access to their children's grades through the Internet and can check up on their progress so that failure isn't a surprise. And also can get their kids the help that they might need. ***I have great memories from my High Schools days. And now that everyone carries a camera, those memories can be captured. But not if you're not there. :P

But what's more important sending a strong message about academics or being fair to your daughter? No college is going to care if she had fun at homecoming they will however care if she can't score above a C

To me? being fair is just as important. The punishment should fit the crime. Sorry, I'm just tired of parents complaining about their kids grades, but ask them if they checked their kids homework, or know their teachers, or quiz them themselves to see if they are having trouble in school? Good study habits start at home when they're younger. The foundation is the parents's duty!

In my opinion kids need to take responsibility for their own grades. In college they won't have their parents telling them to do their homework or study. And OP's daughter was probably warned by her mother but didn't give a shit assuming her mom wouldn't go through with the punishment. I would have cut the power to her room and made her sit in the kitchen doing her homework. The milestone of high school graduation is far more important than a dance.

98 - Although that's completely plausible, it's also a massive assumption. OPs daughter could have tried her best, knowing how much pressure her parents were putting on her, been devastated when she only got a B instead of an A and then had a surprise punishment thrown at her because her parents were so pissed. Unfortunately, this is just as plausible.

98, isn't that much of a detailed situation much more of a "massive assumption" than simply offering the alternative? And even if she wasn't warned in advance, she shouldn't have expected the privilege of homecoming without earning it. But regardless of whether she was warned, it simply does not make sense to reward her lack of concentration, effort, motivation, or whatever made her grades worse, with something distracting and non-academic. She should be at home studying so that she can catch up before she considers going to a dance (one that isn't even a milestone as it happens every year). If she misses a dance, it's no big deal. What if she can't get into the college she wants? And yes, this is coming from a teenager.

I think actually most of the people who think this is a ydi are actually like 12 or something because I even understand this and I'm in highschool. Bad grades=loss of privileges because that is to teach you to prepare yourself for college. The people who are saying ydi need to chill. This mom is in the right based on the info we're given

you're 26 and you have a 15 year old?

That doesn't have to be his/her real age.

She could have adopted(:

You were probably a nerd then

No, Just the unpopular goth girl.

You don't have to like it. However, for those that do, it's a massive social event, coming of age thing and important memory. I wasn't that fussed about prom but even I know how important it is to most.

Just because you don't see the point in homecoming, doesn't mean there isn't one.

Might I add that, allowing her to get her way, as others somehow believe is best, will just encourage her to be a little brat that thinks the world will stop for her if she so pleases. I loathe brats.

So...pretty much, she learns, "I don't have to actually work for what I want to do because my mom's going to give in and give it to me anyway!" Nah. Discipline is critical. It's her own fault she had bad grades, and it's her own fault she couldn't go to homecoming.

But you are a grandma ? You dont know what dances are like now. Let me just say.... They suck. Trust me she's not missing anything at all she would have more fun reading a book then going to homecoming. This dance isn't going to decide whether she lives or dies she will be fine. She needs to learn a lesson that she can't always get what she wants.

For a 50 year old woman with grandkids, I would think you would say the opposite. What you said is just like " my daughter just straight out failed her softmore year. I'm not going to have her be held back, because I don't want her to be teased." I find your comment to be immature and stupid. Especially for your age. Good parenting is critical. You need to enforce rules. I myself am a softmore in high school and I disagree with you compltely.

#28, Grandma, you're Exhibit A for why US test scores are so much worse than in other counties. Your values are upside down.

I was grounded from homecoming one year and I've turned out just fine. It's not that big of a deal, OPs daughter is being overdramatic.

You're kidding, right? If not, you are part of the reason that these newer generations are shit. Please, never procreate.

Yeah, grading someone based on their knowledge and learning ability is totally messed up. I second the above commenter. Never procreate.

#29: Yeah dude, who carez bout like learning and stuffz dude! Being an ignorant, uneducated fool is like just a-ok just as long as you enjoying it dude! In anyway you can just like blame it on the skewl system if you get weak grades. Just wing it right? YOLO? Stop being a bloody idiot, decent grades are the most important part of school.