Miscellaneous: Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of...

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

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Same thing different taste

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 475

You deserved it 9 331

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 721

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 028

You deserved it 2 795

Timing

By iliterallypoopedmyself - 19/01/2012 01:54 - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 766

You deserved it 3 884

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 626

You deserved it 74 789

By tmac - 04/04/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 085

You deserved it 43 131

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

We heard you

By PeePee - 03/07/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 024

You deserved it 13 406

By pissed - 10/05/2015 14:34 - United States - Dearborn

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 842

You deserved it 8 035

Hey guys, check this out

By Sonic - 15/01/2010 16:50 - United States

Today, I was on a conference call while in the bathroom with all the important people in my district. I thought my phone was on mute, so I took the opportunity to flush the toilet. Turns out, that my phone wasn't on mute, and everyone heard it. I'm the only one who was on the conference call outside of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 450

You deserved it 30 915

Steve97 32

Wednesday 26 August 2015 1:27

"It feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all." Stupid sexy Flanders

AlicefromIreland 16

Wednesday 26 August 2015 1:27

Mathis reminds me of going to the toilet in dreams and waking up in pee soaked sheets

Comments

lchollett 22

Wednesday 26 August 2015 1:56

Sounds like a pissy situation.

chinaski7628 32

Wednesday 26 August 2015 2:07

Why wouldn't you put the lid down before you sit down?

Thorzix 23

Wednesday 26 August 2015 3:04

Why wouldn't you read properly before commenting?

chinaski7628 32

Wednesday 26 August 2015 3:58

Wow. I totally misread that. My bad.

TheMafu 9

Wednesday 26 August 2015 2:15

Hahahahaha

WOTAN1488 24

Wednesday 26 August 2015 2:34

Classic FML moment :)

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 26 August 2015 4:08

It happens just go change...

zarrganaut 17

Wednesday 26 August 2015 4:09

I'm sorry op, but that is pretty funny!

ww431 15

Wednesday 26 August 2015 4:30

I'm happy to say that I've never managed to do this! Bad luck to you OP! :/

dirty_dan_ 15

Wednesday 26 August 2015 4:36

Way to go smarty pant

ThatOneAstro 15

Wednesday 26 August 2015 5:12

HAHAHALOL sorry...

chaseafterwind82 29

Wednesday 26 August 2015 6:16

God defend your jeans!

mellyski 25

Wednesday 26 August 2015 12:29

I see what you did there. Well played sir

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Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

The Top

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 644

You deserved it 6 376

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 964

You deserved it 5 472

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 043

You deserved it 69 621

Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 831

You deserved it 6 009

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 615

You deserved it 6 965

Today, I helped my mom put away my baby sister's clothes. She's only a week old and has around 60 outfits. I have 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 962

You deserved it 1 840