Health: Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid,... - FML

By brownunderwear - 14/12/2011 03:45 - United States

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 778

You deserved it 7 882

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Same thing different taste

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 66

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 3 069

Leftovers

By Well Shit - 16/08/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, I had a really big, satisfying shit in the loo of a pub several miles from home. After getting back to my table, my stomach rumbled, and, assuming it was just gas, I let it go. What followed was approximately a litre of brown water, soaking my underwear, jeans, and chair, and dribbling onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 418

By mysidesaresplitting - 14/12/2012 06:44 - United States - Oxford

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 454

You deserved it 2 267

Great timing

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 18:01 - Australia

Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 117

Always wear camo gear

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 316

By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 694

You deserved it 4 836

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 05:32 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and my pee split into 4 different streams, none of which actually hit the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 009

You deserved it 7 016

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 22:00

Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 27/08/2018 18:30 - United States - Compton

Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 561

You deserved it 3 236

Next

Top comments

akagopher 7

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:36

TMI

Eyams 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 8:41

At least there was no plasma?

Comments

DynamicDave 11

Wednesday 14 December 2011 9:14

Remember the Wendy's Frosty commercials? At least it wasn't a soquid!

Feklfekl2222 32

Wednesday 14 December 2011 9:15

I think the gas part is called a fart

jwade11 12

Wednesday 14 December 2011 9:17

Ya I think that's happened to majority of us. I wouldn't say this is a "**** your life" situation considering it's about a natural human being function. But sorry your tummy tum is upset!

honeybuncher 3

Wednesday 14 December 2011 11:45

thats lovely.

Dramori 29

Wednesday 14 December 2011 11:54

**** the toilet's life...

AngryBlckMan13 2

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:20

What about plasma?

FailedAtWinning 7

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:26

I had a couple good FMLs and they didnt pass because of this shit?! Literally

Stoneyyay 5

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:29

55 i love ur pic, soo adorable!

sjhill 32

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:35

lovely to know :P

NotMuchLuck 0

Wednesday 14 December 2011 12:39

Cool story bro

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Today, my boyfriend was eating me out and I was so close to orgasm, but he suddenly stopped because his phone notified him of the football scores. He only stopped for a few seconds to check but the moment was ruined, and even though he got right back down there it just wasn’t happening. FML

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You deserved it 281

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

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You deserved it 3 897

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 7 881

You deserved it 68 205

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 676

You deserved it 5 900

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I agree, your life sucks 59 203

You deserved it 4 004

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 322

You deserved it 8 716

Today, I planned on "breaking up" with my best friend by confessing my love for her, hoping she would feel different and move on. She reciprocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 964

You deserved it 33 058

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 157

You deserved it 69 224