Animals: Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While...

By Anonymous - 12/03/2013 14:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 068

You deserved it 3 117

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Same thing different taste

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 321

You deserved it 49 600

By Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 652

You deserved it 1 571

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 05:55 - United States - Truckee

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 406

You deserved it 5 442

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 501

You deserved it 6 063

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 000

You deserved it 70 975

By Person15 - 26/11/2011 23:13 - United States

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 382

You deserved it 10 485

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 320

You deserved it 3 836

By Herdad - 30/07/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 052

You deserved it 3 696

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 19:17 - Israel

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 633

You deserved it 5 203

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 191

You deserved it 4 385

perdix 29

Tuesday 12 March 2013 19:22

The funny thing is that the OP's daughter is 28.

Wiag 8

Tuesday 12 March 2013 19:22

some peoples children

Comments

lucianaamelia 21

Tuesday 12 March 2013 21:36

Explain that to her teachers. They're going to think she has some parents into beastilia yaaaack!

Donnie_Murray 8

Tuesday 12 March 2013 22:41

What immature parents of that kid. They could of told him to stop.

stallingsjason 6

Tuesday 12 March 2013 22:56

So who is parenting who? Are you parenting the child or is she parenting you? If you are the parent then show it and be firm

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Tuesday 12 March 2013 22:59

In 10 years this will be funny to you.

bryan788 29

Wednesday 13 March 2013 0:14

You should have punched him in the junk. Just think it is going to be funny when you get the call from her school about monkey *****!!! Awesome

musikchik 6

Wednesday 13 March 2013 1:48

Then be a parent and discipline your child! My children know they can't say adult words, and they get in trouble if they do. Teach them right and wrong.

a_frogg 9

Wednesday 13 March 2013 2:19

They're right. You should tell her & if she continues take away her toys or make her go to timeout.

wvcheesehead1 9

Wednesday 13 March 2013 2:55

Look on the bright side, at least it was not a racial slur that could get you shot in the wrong place.

HeartOfLead 24

Wednesday 13 March 2013 3:46

I can picture someone yelling that in a strip club and the announcer responding with "a special request has been made, let's clear the floor for-" well you know the rest.