Intimacy: Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday....

By Anonymous - 05/01/2014 01:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 270

You deserved it 7 011

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Same thing different taste

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 973

You deserved it 2 597

Alexa, play "Don't Go" by Yazoo

By nexus - 22/09/2021 04:00 - Papua New Guinea

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 163

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 446

You deserved it 210

By phuckbukket7 - 27/04/2014 22:08 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 670

You deserved it 8 730

By bathroomseww - 12/05/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 162

You deserved it 12 404

By nhyari - 25/08/2014 18:58 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 161

You deserved it 4 168

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

By jgboy - 14/09/2014 15:32 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 190

You deserved it 9 510

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 454

You deserved it 8 860

Where d'you go?!

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 673

You deserved it 3 565

EternalRest 5

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:03

At least you know she was looking forward to having sex with you?

metallica_wins 20

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:02

Well, hormones are a bitch.

Comments

dmklake 14

Sunday 5 January 2014 19:52

I guess she really wanted to have sex

Bludude4 10

Sunday 5 January 2014 20:09

Time to earn your red stripes...

nyikkins 11

Sunday 5 January 2014 20:27

Why is birthday sex such a big thing? Do people only have sex on special occasions these days?

Rozay333 36

Sunday 5 January 2014 20:53

Idk why everyone says you can't have sex while on your period. Thats actually the best time to do it, to avoid pregnancy.

PrinceKitsoon 7

Sunday 5 January 2014 22:50

A woman actually can get pregnant while on their period, the chances are not as high when not on a period but it's still possible. Besides who wants to stick their dick in old smelly blood and if your thinking of anal maybe but some women can experience loose stool during their period. Obviously a condom would be used but you'll still have to handle that after you're done. There is also the fact that it just plain hurts when a woman has her period.

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 5 January 2014 20:57

You know, in a lot of ways you were complimented on your sexual skill in front of a lot of people. Worse things have happened to significant others when their girlfriends go on their period

twelve_oh_seven 11

Sunday 5 January 2014 21:22

****?

Pauline96_fml 20

Sunday 5 January 2014 22:53

You could try anal for you birthday as a last resort

PhoenixKyttyn 8

Monday 6 January 2014 0:09

At least she was looking forward to being intimate with you. I call that a win in my book. You do such a good job that she cries when she can't have you! :D

carebear97 1

Monday 6 January 2014 0:34

Who ever decided that you can't have sex on your period?? It's so ridiculous! Women actually experience more pleasure during their period because of the increase of blood in the genital area, the pleasure can relieve any cramps, it can make her feel sexy during the time of the month when she would usually feel un-sexy, it adds more lubrication, and it reduces the risk of getting pregnant.