Miscellaneous: Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie....

By troll of a gran - 08/01/2013 17:10 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 836

You deserved it 4 861

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Same thing different taste

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 3 914

By Momlovesme - 08/08/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 253

You deserved it 17 460

Let her have her fun

By WHY GRANDMA - 17/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 193

By no tea parties here, gran - 11/04/2013 17:16 - United States

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 719

You deserved it 6 189

Grandma rocks!

By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 21:38 - Slovenia - Domzale

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 483

You deserved it 5 217

By Anonymous - 01/08/2015 03:39 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 502

You deserved it 1 924

By booste - 18/10/2009 04:06 - Canada

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 764

You deserved it 2 268

SHUSH

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 12:00

Today, I went to see a movie with my mum. She kept asking me questions throughout the entire film, and not necessarily about the movie. I lost my cool when she asked me a bit too loudly for comfort if I regretted being dumped my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 119

By lady_jeni - 09/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 521

You deserved it 3 237

By bribreeeeeezyfreshhh - 06/12/2010 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother told me to say "sofa king retarded" really fast. Not only did it take me several attempts to figure out what it meant, I'm now grounded by my mother for having a foul mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 941

You deserved it 27 195

itsalanis 25

Tuesday 8 January 2013 22:38

I love your grandma.

holagranola 15

Tuesday 8 January 2013 22:40

Just be glad she didn't strip down and refuse to put her clothes back on.

Comments

prettydummy 12

Tuesday 8 January 2013 23:21

your granma is so foul mouthed you should tell her to watch her mouth :/

outoftown 26

Tuesday 8 January 2013 23:34

LOL... now you know how parents and grandparents feel when the younger generations ask those questions! The PG rating is now your friend.

olpally 32

Tuesday 8 January 2013 23:35

That's freaking hilarious and embarrassing at the same time! Lol. Your grandma is awesome. :D

Anubis_81 21

Tuesday 8 January 2013 23:53

FYL. Very funny, laughed out loud at that. Your Granny rocks.

UMadBro_87 3

Tuesday 8 January 2013 23:53

Never too old to learn...

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 8 January 2013 23:55

C U Next Tuesday, Granny

poccocurantes 7

Wednesday 9 January 2013 0:42

Yes, I use this acronym all the time when seeing my granny.

thain1982 1

Tuesday 8 January 2013 23:55

Whrn I was 19, my then-girlfriend (now wife) bought me a copy of Monty Python's Holy Grail. She gave it to me in front of my mom, who was very keen to see it. My girlfriend and I had to sit in poker-faced silence as nuns excitedly gabbled about spankings and oral sex while my straight-laced mother's scowl grew ever deeper

BlowinChronic 18

Wednesday 9 January 2013 2:04

Cool story bro.

poccocurantes 7

Wednesday 9 January 2013 0:39

"No grandma it's slang for a smart phone." "Oh, so what is a queef?" "Well it's like when you are having trouble breathing grandma. like weezing." *Next day on the phone. "Well Susan I wasn't feeling well this morning and I was qweefing like nobodies business. So I called my granddaughter and she came over to help. But damned if her friend didn't call and she has been playing with her **** all day."