Health: Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one... - FML

By Broken - 03/11/2015 18:13 - United States - Billerica

Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one arm but both. Now I can't even wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 573

You deserved it 1 790

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

All fall down

By Anonymous - 21/11/2023 15:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 135

By skating101 - 08/12/2009 02:32 - Canada

Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 883

You deserved it 29 096

So, here's the thing…

By dad - 28/04/2024 11:00 - United States

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 651

I need a wipe!

By Not funnu - 23/10/2022 04:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 256

It's not an age thing, it's an ice thing

By Old - 04/02/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I took a pretty nasty fall on the ice and made noises similar to the ones my dad makes when he's in pain. I am officially becoming old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 152

Someone's getting coal from Santa...

By Anonymous - 15/12/2017 15:00

Today, my nephew stabbed me in the knee with a colouring pencil. The hospital says he ripped a hole in a tendon and I need surgery to fix it or one day it'll snap. I’ll have a limp for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 286

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 616

You deserved it 33 003

SK8 OR DIE

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 02:00 - United States - Midland

Today, I was feeling motivated enough to try longboarding again after a long stint of being a couch potato. Not even 10 minutes into cruising down the road, my board catches on a rock. Now I've got a sprained wrist and two inches of road rash on my right arm. So much for getting a little exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 170

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 12:00

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 959

You deserved it 121

Slippery slope

By bailey1389 - 26/08/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, I slipped on my son's Hot Wheels cars and fell onto a building made out of Lego. I now have a fractured tailbone and a broken wrist. I called my husband to tell him what happened and all he could do was laugh. My son didn't leave them on the floor, my husband did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 210

Next

Top comments

bigmusclebro 20

Wednesday 4 November 2015 7:55

At least you didn't break your legs! Don't need your arms to roller blade!

wanted_2_want 40

Wednesday 4 November 2015 7:55

It seems that you were in a roll. Not a good one but a roll nevertheless. Sorry OP

Comments

vikky538 28

Wednesday 4 November 2015 13:21

We need a followup!!

oceaneyes213 21

Wednesday 4 November 2015 13:28

Ouch! My mom once drunkenly insisted we go rollerskating sometime. She ended up breaking a tooth and bruising her tailbone and still hasn't learned her lesson. Hope you heal fast, OP!

Lalala579121 27

Wednesday 4 November 2015 13:49

Please tell me there's a video.

brendejafulable 41

Wednesday 4 November 2015 14:59

Time to buy a bidet.

UnluckyChibi 8

Wednesday 4 November 2015 15:24

Was typing this painful?

wordygirl 11

Wednesday 4 November 2015 15:36

Since we already have established that you are indeed in a shitty condition, I can offer an idea that just may work. Buy those flushable wet wipes. They are thicker than toilet paper and easier to control. Happy wiping you poor thing!

smoothies14 32

Wednesday 4 November 2015 19:14

How? Even an especially awful skater usually limits injuries to one side of the body. I can't come up with a reasonable scenario in which this could be the result.

hannahpk 11

Wednesday 4 November 2015 20:50

Can't imagine what's it's like with both! I recently dislocated my elbow and had one arm in plaster, that was bad enough!

ProSwimmerFL 16

Wednesday 4 November 2015 21:23

How the hell did you do that !?

Taylor000 16

Wednesday 4 November 2015 23:29

How'd you type this?

1
2
3
4
5

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Bosses Work Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 169

The Top

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 737

You deserved it 17 460

Today, I was out camping with my boyfriend and his friends. I asked my boyfriend to give me a roasted marshmallow, asking him if it was cooled down and he said yes. I put it in my mouth and it was piping hot. They all laughed to the point of tears, all while videoing me screaming and running in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 290

Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 491

You deserved it 1 525

Today, my now fully vaccinated puppy went to a restaurant for the first time. They allow clean, well-behaved dogs. He threw up everywhere from excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 585

You deserved it 2 569

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 734

You deserved it 8 523

Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 168

You deserved it 6 709