Intimacy: Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night...

By enderw - 16/06/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 120

You deserved it 6 406

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Same thing different taste

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 723

By Jayanka - 03/05/2018 05:00

Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 157

You deserved it 608

By embarrassedmom - 31/08/2013 23:48 - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 336

You deserved it 4 235

By loveade11 - 12/01/2010 19:28 - France

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 718

You deserved it 35 590

By skinny dipper - 21/10/2011 02:48 - United States

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 042

You deserved it 12 759

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 654

You deserved it 43 811

You tried

By well okay then - 10/09/2012 04:39 - United States

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 004

You deserved it 3 460

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 05/09/2022 22:00 - United States - Worcester

Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 342

Boozed up

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 21:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my coworker and I were waiting outside the bar to pick up my dad. When he got in the car, my VERY drunk dad, instead of greeting us, looked my coworker dead in the eye and asked, “Are you fucking my daughter?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 180

By savanna(: - 12/02/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 110

You deserved it 17 848

randomdude1234 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:05

A lot of cops are idiots. Not saying that there aren't good ones but a lot of them are idiots.

Emma_91 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:05

WTF? Or maybe the cop just has a dirty mind XD

Comments

JStromberg 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 1:36

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

MasterModeraor 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 4:04

at least he said you look young. you should take that as a complement

Crimso 0

Tuesday 7 July 2009 6:11

#2 ask your mommy

Critter456 0

Friday 11 June 2010 6:48

lol 156! that sux op, ur daughter probably doesn't wanna b cn w/ u any more, does she?

Jamialia 5

Tuesday 21 August 2012 18:15

I've been accused of being my Dad's wife and my mother's Girlfriend. Get over it

at0micmin3r 23

Thursday 7 March 2013 9:06

#162 W-What language is this?

shankzilla 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 1:53

i dont get it

fuglyhos 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:08

#2 is prbbly ten years old

mr_sympathy 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:42

Pimps are usually referred to the hoes daddy have you ever heard anyone say something like sugar daddy

shankzilla 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 3:32

explain

2426835 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 3:39

as in wo's you daddy

Person_Man 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 3:47

rofl...

yayitsmeh 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 22:32

i agree

JoyFly 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 5:35

It's okay... neither do I

locagurl 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 2:35

he's saying that the cop thinks he's the pimp and his daughter a ***** lol

IaIaIaIa 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:03

O_O

Emma_91 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:05

WTF? Or maybe the cop just has a dirty mind XD

randomdude1234 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:05

A lot of cops are idiots. Not saying that there aren't good ones but a lot of them are idiots.

Hotmodelgrrl 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 5:16

#5 made my LMFAO. The Po are dumber than a box of rocks. LOL. "Have you ever seen a grown man naked honey?"

voveraite 7

Wednesday 17 June 2009 14:44

Haha, so what language is this? Klingon in Cyrillic? :D Strange indexing here, I was replying to Blimy...

jem1991 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 7:53

ever heard of the term corruption?

bollywood_rocks 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 21:54

Nice little government 101 lesson there BUT DID IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT SOME BUSYBODY AT THE THEATER or wherever they were called the cops,gave them a description of the car and people which the cop used to pull them over? Since something similar happened to me( gas station said I didn't pay and the cops came to my house A DAY LATER) it is likely possible.

SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:05

So he thought you were... her pimp or something? I also agree with #5/randomdude1234.

Affenhausen 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:33

he thought that the girl was a prostitute and the guy was buying her

Guairdean 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:06

File a complaint with internal affairs and demand a written apology. Whatever you do, don't call his supervisor. It'll be swept under the rug, you will be labeled as a pervert in the "official" paperwork, and you will the officer will hunt down reasons to ticket you.