Love: Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend... - FML

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 906

You deserved it 9 219

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 608

You deserved it 5 820

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 730

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 655

You deserved it 38 136

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 2 609

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 977

You deserved it 14 362

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 341

You deserved it 32 312

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 937

You deserved it 8 896

Close quarters

By smellay - 14/04/2020 23:00

Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 386

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 645

You deserved it 9 145

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 315

You deserved it 3 867

Next

Top comments

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:14

I hate when that happens. At least when I'm doing it on purpose I can fart a catchy tune.

SkyDog 9

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:28

I thought that was "shitty situation".

Comments

rollindadice 6

Monday 2 June 2014 11:59

i'm trying to put this into context,you farted for four minutes ,and she listened for that time too,she eiher very much loves you or watching your every move

robertmil90 10

Monday 2 June 2014 14:01

oh man ... that sucks dude

iamthunder 4

Monday 2 June 2014 21:31

If she's still with you after playing her voice mail she is a keeper!

Q_W_E_R_T_Y5555 1

Tuesday 3 June 2014 2:11

leave her. no girlfriend should know what your fart sound like in a toilet bowl! 0.o

tman1985 9

Wednesday 4 June 2014 0:04

Peter Griffin vs Michael Moore vs Op

Chibi_Kitten 24

Wednesday 4 June 2014 2:36

Could be worse..my ex butt called me when his mother was trying to give him the 'talk'. And one time when he was taking a dump...I still can't get the plop sound out of my head.

simongren 5

Sunday 6 July 2014 13:28

If she ends up thinking it was hilarious and you decide to tie the knot - make sure she know not to make it the groom's entrance song

livelaughlovepie 22

Thursday 22 October 2015 16:42

And they say romance is dead...

kelliebrew 11

Monday 8 February 2016 6:19

???

dillpick88 17

Sunday 7 August 2016 19:55

Sounds like a shitty situation to me.

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The Top

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 414

You deserved it 36 027

Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 418

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 919

You deserved it 3 993

Today, I convinced my roommate, who’s been single for a while, to get back in the dating game. He downloaded Tinder. His first match was my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 502

You deserved it 289

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 348

You deserved it 4 029

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 582

You deserved it 7 286

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 540

You deserved it 2 865

Today, my grandmother is shocked that literally all of her kids and grandkids have mental handicaps. She won't admit it's because her and my grandfather are first cousins, and is claiming instead it's, "because of gluten." FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 131