Love: Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend...

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 900

You deserved it 9 217

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 605

You deserved it 5 816

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 721

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 653

You deserved it 38 129

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 644

You deserved it 2 607

Gassy

By MuteNToot - 26/02/2015 21:17

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 975

You deserved it 14 358

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 936

You deserved it 8 894

Close quarters

By smellay - 14/04/2020 23:00

Today, I had to shit really bad while I was in bed with my girlfriend. Luckily she was sleeping. I didn’t want to be obvious, so I closed all the doors, crept into the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I accidentally let out the loudest fart. I got a text saying, “Walls are thin, you good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 386

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 3 864

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:14

I hate when that happens. At least when I'm doing it on purpose I can fart a catchy tune.

SkyDog 9

Saturday 31 May 2014 21:28

I thought that was "shitty situation".

Comments

maggiefox 25

Sunday 1 June 2014 5:45

If I was the one that got that call, I'd laugh forever

anxious_penguin 2

Sunday 1 June 2014 5:47

LO ******* L

ihelent 10

Sunday 1 June 2014 5:53

Why was your pants still on while sitting on a toilet ?

littleredgem 1

Sunday 1 June 2014 9:39

How does that even happen?!

focenspeil 7

Sunday 1 June 2014 10:10

The problem being what....?

cchan034 23

Sunday 1 June 2014 10:31

I got a regular charger last year because i always tell my parents "my phones almost out of battery" every time they called

Aurora25 29

Sunday 1 June 2014 12:29

How can you butt dial when your on a toilet...

GothicKnife 11

Sunday 1 June 2014 12:30

That's so nasty.

mb2_native 15

Sunday 1 June 2014 18:40

My woman would never let me hear the end of it haha

WeskersSexslave 15

Sunday 1 June 2014 19:38

I would laugh and tell you as a girlfriend thar your butthole left me a message roflmao!!! farts are funny and she will probably laugh

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

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You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, I went to visit my long-distance boyfriend for the first time. His room is decorated top to bottom with swastikas and confederate flags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 961

You deserved it 881

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 265

You deserved it 56 146

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 520

You deserved it 3 811

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 198

You deserved it 2 932

Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 886

You deserved it 2 291

Today, my dog ate my little brothers medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 663

You deserved it 8 206