Love: Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden....

By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 06:02 - United States

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 7 943

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 921

You deserved it 6 674

By anonymous - 02/09/2012 22:31 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 367

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 203

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 192

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 303

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 887

You deserved it 7 259

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 919

You deserved it 10 325

Nice try

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 29 099

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 10:14 - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 817

You deserved it 4 358

xxmollyxx 25

Friday 30 October 2009 15:42

Lol, that sounds beautiful and romantic.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 30 October 2009 15:52

In some cultures, vomiting on your food is considered respectable and a sign of favor in the locals' eyes.

Comments

damnimunlucky 0

Friday 30 October 2009 21:05

oh well....at least shes gorgeous

keres 0

Friday 30 October 2009 21:59

YDI for eating at Olive Garden... lulz

ktho522 0

Friday 30 October 2009 22:03

Olive Garden has been in two FML's recently... weird... apparently it's not unusual for girls to vomit and have epileptic seizures at Olive Garden.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Friday 30 October 2009 22:26

I took her to the garden where I guess they grow the OLIVES, She wore a tighter skirt than any I had seen in COLLEGE, She said "I love to smoke

lespaulhero 0

Friday 30 October 2009 22:56

wow you idiot who cares! shouldve liked it...

lacho95 4

Friday 30 October 2009 23:00

Olive garden is an italian restraunt

flyboy57 0

Friday 30 October 2009 23:13

Olive Garden is really romantic!

Lisasimpsonfan 0

Friday 30 October 2009 23:32

YDI You take your Grandma to Olive Garden not a date.

FerrariCake 2

Friday 30 October 2009 23:43

She covered her dinner with vomit because you ordered wine? That's strange. Did this girl just have no idea what wine is? Had she never had wine? If so, you have a keeper: she's hot and totally ignorant. You can tell her anything you like, and probably convince her to do anything. Make sure she cleans up her mouth, make her promise not to vomit any more and then get to work on her.