Miscellaneous: Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show...

By skyhawk13 - 30/10/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 127

You deserved it 53 908

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Same thing different taste

By smeeagain - 21/10/2011 01:17 - United States

Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 516

You deserved it 6 376

Nice try

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 21:00 - Philippines

Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 458

Costume parties are the worst

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 563

You deserved it 57 482

By Anonymous - 27/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 722

You deserved it 5 245

By lifesucks - 24/02/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 963

You deserved it 50 277

By cagel - 13/12/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got an e-mail from my University saying I may have violated the Student Code of Conduct for being drunk in public at a football game, and now I have to go in to defend myself against charges. My lungs filled with fluid at the game, causing me to throw up. I had to be taken away in an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 793

You deserved it 2 776

By obsceene - 18/10/2010 10:49 - United States

Today, it was wacky tacky day at my school. I did not participate, however, I did get voted the tackiest outfit in my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 103

You deserved it 8 377

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 262

The next day hangover

By CantHandleAlcohol - 17/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 364

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Danby

Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 599

You deserved it 2 728

redbluegreen 40

Friday 30 October 2009 12:06

Probably the Horny Hornets.

pawpaw_fml 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:04

What's your school mascot?

Comments

pawpaw_fml 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:04

What's your school mascot?

redbluegreen 40

Friday 30 October 2009 12:06

Probably the Horny Hornets.

thegreenfairy 0

Friday 30 October 2009 18:53

skyhawks

kevick93 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 17:01

lucky hawk

GiddyXD 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 0:10

lmao #2

iValerest 6

Monday 7 June 2010 5:10

Lol

itsnikki 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:09

Did you win?

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Monday 27 September 2010 2:09

good one 2

omgcookeys 15

Saturday 29 October 2011 6:45

A beaver?

addiizcherry 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:29

Sexy seal?

ajscw 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:06

Lmfao!!!!!! Lol op tht sux for u

staffer 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 3:23

I want a YTM option added for you the man, thats f'n hilarious. I hope someone got it on video and its on you tube right now,

jchansfan 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:10

Did the mascot enjoy it or are you looking at a restraining order? :P

wellinever 5

Friday 30 October 2009 12:10

You win at Midnight Madness. Is that a good thing? Is that mascot talking to you today?

aback 4

Friday 30 October 2009 22:42

Worse. The mascot won't stop following him around.

wtfismyfml 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:20

yeah school spirit FTW

Superawesomestev 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:23

happy ending?

PimpMyFML 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:24

You must've won then. If not, there's always next year, give him the reverse cowgirl.

jchansfan 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:27

I hope your mascot was a goat or pig or something. You would look so hilarious.

Acid80 3

Friday 30 October 2009 12:34

Epic Win!

Chasted 0

Friday 30 October 2009 12:41

I hope you won...

Keywords

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Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

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I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 17

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Today, I thought I’d preheat the car so I wouldn’t have to scrape the ice off the windshield and could start driving in a toasty vehicle. Turns out it’s a bit difficult to flip a switch on the dashboard of a car with the doors frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 155

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 662

You deserved it 33 345

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 751

You deserved it 6 884

Today, while making milkshakes, I was pouring and the blender's blades all fell out somehow. I don't know what's worse, that I sliced my finger open when the blades fell out and now there's blood all over, that there's now melted ice cream all over my counter and floor, or that I just wasted an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 210

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 923

You deserved it 2 369

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 649

You deserved it 22 471

Same thing different taste

Nice try

Costume parties are the worst

Party hard

The next day hangover

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