Love: Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden....

By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 06:02 - United States

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 7 943

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 921

You deserved it 6 674

By anonymous - 02/09/2012 22:31 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 367

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 203

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 192

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 303

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 887

You deserved it 7 259

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 919

You deserved it 10 325

Nice try

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 29 099

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 10:14 - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 817

You deserved it 4 358

xxmollyxx 25

Friday 30 October 2009 15:42

Lol, that sounds beautiful and romantic.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 30 October 2009 15:52

In some cultures, vomiting on your food is considered respectable and a sign of favor in the locals' eyes.

Comments

sillylung 0

Friday 30 October 2009 18:20

YDI for taking her to a god damn Olive Garden. You have no class.

Witchcraft_fml 4

Friday 30 October 2009 18:21

What, no sex?

mangocherrypie 0

Friday 30 October 2009 18:38

Why did you bring her to Olive Garden in the first place? F Her Life!

Gneekman 0

Friday 30 October 2009 18:48

Hey, at least you know she's into you!

perfectwinds 0

Friday 30 October 2009 19:04

Are you really lying and this poor girl had an epileptic seizure? Hmmm....?

dancingyrlie 1

Friday 30 October 2009 19:34

you took the words right out of my mouth!

lolwatlol 0

Friday 30 October 2009 20:02

oh poor you, your life really sucks

israelnotjacob 20

Friday 30 October 2009 20:43

Two FMLs about Olive Garden dates written within 24 hours of each other. These are clearly both true stories beyond a shadow of a doubt.

RataBlanca 0

Friday 30 October 2009 20:46

What the... Please check with me, does the second comment say "SECOND"? I had a comment there until at least one hour ago. It was not nearly anything like that.

perdix 29

Friday 30 October 2009 21:04

I don't know what everyone has against The Olive Garden. I don't go often, but the ones I've been to seem to serve a decent meal in a pleasant atmosphere. I once had a memorably good server at one. If your date says you can only have the All-You-Can-Eat Salad and Breadsticks for one low price, it's your date that sucks, not Olive Garden for offering it. Guys: I've always found that when I broke the bank to bring a first or second date to a really expensive restaurant, I never got any. I guess it was too obvious I was trying to pay for sex ;). Stick to casual dining like Olive Garden for early dates -- wait 'til you've been going out a while to get fancy. Just my observation.