Love: Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden....

By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 06:02 - United States

Today, I took this gorgeous girl from work to eat at Olive Garden. I was trying to be romantic and had the waiter bring two glasses of wine. I guess she doesn't really drink wine, she covered her fettucini Alfredo in vomit. After dinner, she thanked me with a french kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 030

You deserved it 7 943

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

By anonymous - 02/09/2012 22:31 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 490

You deserved it 7 367

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 205

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 818

You deserved it 192

By takeshi - 05/08/2018 20:30

Today, I took my girlfriend to a restaurant we both like. By the end of the date, we were fighting and she angrily broke up with me. To make things worse, I got food poisoning. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 281

You deserved it 303

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 887

You deserved it 7 259

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 919

You deserved it 10 325

Nice try

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 29 099

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 10:14 - China

Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 817

You deserved it 4 358

xxmollyxx 25

Friday 30 October 2009 15:42

Lol, that sounds beautiful and romantic.

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Friday 30 October 2009 15:52

In some cultures, vomiting on your food is considered respectable and a sign of favor in the locals' eyes.

Comments

jonny2x4 0

Friday 30 October 2009 16:41

She pukes in her food and then frenches you afterward? Where's the FML here? I see a winwinwin.

justanotherhuman 21

Tuesday 20 September 2011 7:34

^ two years later and this comment still makes me straight-up guffaw... so delicious. pro.

deaditegirl 0

Friday 30 October 2009 16:46

YDI for ordering for her without even asking her preferences.

misspeg 0

Friday 30 October 2009 16:42

can anyone tell me where this magical place that is Olive Garden is located? it seems quite popular on fml. I would love to go...and quit whinging OP. u got a french kiss from a gorgeous girl.

Eelusive 0

Friday 30 October 2009 16:58

YDI for going to olive garden.

dalsegno 0

Friday 30 October 2009 17:16

Agreed. No wonder she puked!

thesunshotme 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 0:36

oh yeah #20, one glass of wine would have totally been enough to "lube her up". e_e Who the hell throws up after one glass of wine? I'm sure, as an adult, she's familiar with her alcohol tolerance, and should have turned down the wine. People have wine with their meals all the time.

perdix 29

Saturday 31 October 2009 4:51

Actually, I don't believe one glass of wine will make a person drunk in reality. I have met some girls who have used one glass of wine as an excuse to do horrible, horrible, wonderful things and claim they were "so drunk!" I had to hog-tie the little scientist in me that was yearning to call "bullshit" at the claim of inebriation.

Torv 0

Friday 30 October 2009 17:08

I agree with #15. She could have just walked out in embarassment. Maybe she actually likes you. Also I'm sure she didn't hurl and just go straight to kissing you. My 2c

escualida 0

Friday 30 October 2009 17:23

YDI for taking your date to the Olive Garden to try to be super romantic

asnider 0

Monday 9 November 2009 22:28

Exactly what I was thinking.

artisticlicense 0

Friday 30 October 2009 17:28

At least she kissed you. :)

bsr414 0

Friday 30 October 2009 17:49

What sort of backward place do live in where you take a "gorgeous" girl to Olive Garden? There are no real restaurants in your town?

ragsy 7

Friday 30 October 2009 17:51

Are you sure she didn't have a seizure? Lots of drama at Olive Garden today.

ZeroZenX 0

Friday 30 October 2009 17:52

Psh, she kissed you and drank wine even though she apparently wasn't a fan, looks like you have a gorgeous new girlfriend that doesn't like wine. How is that an issue?