Miscellaneous: Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended...

By BackToRehab - 26/02/2011 21:53 - Canada

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 079

You deserved it 3 562

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Same thing different taste

It's just liquid fun

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 05:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 035

You deserved it 3 027

Denial

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 170

You deserved it 3 217

By anonymous - 07/02/2012 09:27 - United States

Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 292

You deserved it 2 348

Slippery slope

By ur_life_dus_suck - 21/01/2016 13:08 - United States - Wayne

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 258

You deserved it 1 707

By geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 593

You deserved it 36 513

Boozehound

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 999

By heya - 24/12/2012 10:09 - Australia - Sydney

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 424

You deserved it 2 549

By anonymous - 24/10/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 649

You deserved it 4 076

You hypocrite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 062

You deserved it 6 555

By the only sober one - 15/05/2013 06:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 934

You deserved it 2 804

Privations_fml 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:57

Someone's been drinking a bit too much butterbeer.

afdude87 6

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:58

muggles: they're everywhere, tryin to steal my whiskey.

Comments

calcetines 0

Monday 28 February 2011 6:29

I however *am* being a creeper... Mmm... ;)

1958x 6

Monday 28 February 2011 8:13

Well, Butterbeer does taste good. Unfortunate that she's still drinking though.

autumn88_fml_fml 0

Monday 28 February 2011 9:18

Hahahah! I was just reading harry potter lol.

stephanyk2 7

Monday 28 February 2011 9:40

cool mom:)

massagenist 0

Monday 28 February 2011 10:58

why does Charlie sheen hate aa ? he thinks it's bs

LoonyPheebs 0

Monday 28 February 2011 14:28

Dude, your mom used the word "muggle," and although she's a recovering alcoholic (sorry about that!) that gives her cool points :)

needsagf14 12

Wednesday 2 March 2011 4:12

dumb

sweetiffany 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 15:33

sorry to hear about your mom, but that's just hilarious! Gotta love Harry potter.

Prupel 0

Friday 4 March 2011 22:25

Now, after ten full minutes, I'm still laughing.

zomglol 3

Friday 11 March 2011 17:51

Ooh! Ooh! Which movie did you see? :L

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The Top

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 158

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

The Top

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 830

You deserved it 4 616

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 741

You deserved it 1 841

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 862

You deserved it 7 936

Today, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 424

You deserved it 11 837

Today, I wanted my son to take a break from his comic books and be more active, so I converted our big backyard into a home-sized football field, hoping this would motivate him to finally get into sports. While I had him running drills, I heard him grumble, "This is why mom left you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 2 343

Today, I found out why my friends don’t invite me to Karaoke Thursday Nights anymore. Apparently, I act like a “show off” and “presumptuous” and make the others feel bad. It’s not my fault I have a decent singing voice. I guess they don’t like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 597