Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom...

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 982

You deserved it 38 808

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Same thing different taste

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 820

You deserved it 9 728

By Joe Lizen - 07/08/2012 01:40 - United States - New Lenox

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 2 182

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 146

You deserved it 15 543

Sneaky dad

By say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 43 598

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 18:55 - Europe

Today, my dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto my laptop and photoshopping a bong into my Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with my mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 1 738

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 21:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 668

You deserved it 2 955

By valarmorgoolies - 06/02/2015 18:51 - United States - Binghamton

Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 829

You deserved it 3 036

By ironyisabitch - 02/06/2012 05:43 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 339

You deserved it 3 085

That one weird kid

By shellski - 21/01/2012 01:21 - United States

Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 776

You deserved it 2 348

By Yoooooo0 - 29/11/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 073

You deserved it 3 724

your_ma 27

Sunday 9 November 2014 9:08

That's what you get for being a little bitch

jazmin3012 28

Sunday 9 November 2014 9:22

"Today, I tried to blackmail my dad..." Instant YDI

Comments

TonyTalkingClock 11

Sunday 9 November 2014 15:21

Only in Florida...

supersquirel500 10

Sunday 9 November 2014 16:02

tell the cops

wRIPPERw 23

Sunday 9 November 2014 16:46

What are you? Ten?

penguin_bitchez 15

Sunday 9 November 2014 17:33

You're a ******

Guatican 6

Sunday 9 November 2014 17:46

What could you possibly want so bad that you had to black mail your own dad...

thatguy240 27

Sunday 9 November 2014 17:53

No one likes a snitch

middlenamefrank 8

Sunday 9 November 2014 17:56

First of all, contrary to popular convention, it's a "bhang", not a "bong". Second, to keep something like that secret until you thought you "needed" it to blackmail your dad with is a sign of a manipulative, usurious personality. Sounds like you got the lesson you needed.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Sunday 9 November 2014 18:08

No, no it is not. It is called a bong. A Bhang is a different cannabis related thing. Bhang - a mild preparation of marijuana made from young leaves and stems of the Indian hemp plant, Cannabis sativa, drunk with milk or water as a fermented brew or smoked for its hallucinogenic effects. Bong - A type of smoking pipe typically filled with water or ice.

pandalover69 26

Sunday 9 November 2014 18:41

I have never heard anyone call a bong a bhang and if I ever said that to any other mega pot smoker like myself they would laugh and ask wtf I'm talking about. I don't think you know what your talking about.

jackycat 17

Monday 10 November 2014 5:18

35, not only are you really wrong on the bong/bhang thing, but usurious is used incorrectly. It means practicing usury, which is charging excessive or exorbitant or illegally high interest rates on loans. Stop embarrassing yourself by trying to sound like a know it all with words you actually don't know.