Animals: Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught...

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By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 549

You deserved it 3 839

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Same thing different taste

By Moron with reflexes - 29/05/2019 06:03

Today, I thought I felt a spider crawling by my eye. Having a huge fear of spiders, like an idiot, I lamped myself in square in the eye. I now have a partial black eye because of what turned out to be a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 988

By baconandkittens - 26/02/2012 03:13 - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 567

You deserved it 5 789

By ohmy - 17/12/2009 19:09 - Canada

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 564

You deserved it 27 869

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 261

You deserved it 3 584

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 840

You deserved it 19 102

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 17 431

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 231

You deserved it 41 633

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 730

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 711

You deserved it 2 520

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 975

You deserved it 8 696

RobertWJV86 11

Thursday 4 September 2014 15:32

Spider hunter.. Death by eyelid..

Earths_Venus 25

Thursday 4 September 2014 15:33

Well now there's no spider to climb up the water spout. You're a monster!

Comments

zefrenaboo 15

Friday 5 September 2014 5:34

This is disturbing

cece23_fml 10

Friday 5 September 2014 8:11

As long as it wasnt a pregnant spider, you're probably gonna be ok.

Percrasterbating 3

Friday 5 September 2014 8:46

I didn't need that mental picture

candyolympics 17

Friday 5 September 2014 9:10

Hold on, let me go board the Nope train to FuckthatshitVille.

AloysiusWeasley 15

Sunday 7 September 2014 3:22

Good lord no, that's not near fast nor far enough. One first class ticket aboard the Fukallno jet, bound for Fukitall-Eyebleachistan.

MoosieHD 7

Friday 5 September 2014 17:48

Oh god...

veracruzana922 6

Saturday 6 September 2014 1:34

There is a speck of dust in my eye right now... at least I hope its dust

touch_the_sky_77 22

Sunday 7 September 2014 4:47

That's like an absolute nightmare

Soloras_fml 6

Sunday 7 September 2014 11:58

No. No, no, no.

lilushi 8

Sunday 7 September 2014 13:20

I cant even imagine the horror

PhoenixMartinez 30

Thursday 11 September 2014 9:15

How did OP deserve this?

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I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 331

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I agree, your life sucks 17 089

You deserved it 26 629

Same thing different taste

Chance encounter

Blow it

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