Intimacy: Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night...

By turnoff - 17/09/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 358

You deserved it 15 155

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anon - 27/07/2015 04:43 - United States

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 561

You deserved it 5 954

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 821

You deserved it 3 864

By Married Life 101 - 16/05/2019 02:41

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 563

You deserved it 243

Wake up call

By das_shizzle - 05/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my husband trying to bite my forehead in his sleep. My response? I slapped him hard in the face. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 275

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 6 833

Old habits die hard

By atsukobo - 10/03/2012 06:04 - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 676

You deserved it 4 832

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 041

You deserved it 4 497

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 153

You deserved it 5 979

By pistonchamp159 - 28/08/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 717

You deserved it 9 932

By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 804

You deserved it 3 050

iFruit 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 12:10

YDI. I'd be pissed if someone woke me in the middle of the night unless the house was burning down or something.

Candisemo 0

Thursday 17 September 2009 20:08

i would want my sleep too, but thats no reason to call this girl fat or ugly. you have no idea what she looks like so dont judge her. being mean on the internet is really not anything to be proud of.

Comments

lahp 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 17:34

ROFLCOPTERED! xD LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLOOOLLLL sorry thats just funny :P u got owned long time :P

JellyBellie89 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 2:11

stop molesting your boyfreinf

oompaaa 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 3:32

hes sleeping ..who likes sleepy sex?....stupid bitch let the man sleep

ladiesman14 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 6:52

i better not get woken up unless its from a bj or reverse cowboy. one of my FWB's tried to kiss me and wake me in a deep sleep. this was after watching that movie Arachnaphobia. I thought i was being attacked by a tarantula so i woke up and took a swing. fortunately i only hit the mattress.