Miscellaneous: Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair...

By ShellShocked - 30/03/2013 04:06 - United States

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 831

You deserved it 3 067

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Same thing different taste

By bdaygirl - 03/12/2009 07:33 - United States

Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 939

You deserved it 4 732

By dusk - 05/01/2012 08:09 - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 4 237

By Unloved. - 15/09/2009 10:09 - New Zealand

Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 056

You deserved it 9 744

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 383

You deserved it 3 557

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 014

You deserved it 7 976

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 3 935

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 00:48 - Canada

Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 365

You deserved it 4 173

By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 21:46 - United States

Today, I turned 18. My parents remembered that I loved German chocolate cake, so I awoke to a hot, fudge-filled chocolate cake with a slice cut out just for me. I've been lactose-intolerant for 8 years. As I cried, my mom handed me tissues, while eating the "Happy" part of my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 177

You deserved it 5 663

By ana9 - 12/01/2009 15:56 - France

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 022

You deserved it 6 849

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 15:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 517

You deserved it 3 459

lylotrezor 20

Saturday 30 March 2013 12:33

I guess you're a free elf now.

cosmosis 12

Saturday 30 March 2013 12:23

Happy Birthday OP:) congrats on making it to 18!

Comments

perdix 29

Saturday 30 March 2013 14:27

Maybe the socks aren't for your feet.

DRush_fml 12

Saturday 30 March 2013 14:42

Aw... :(

ceenguyenx 6

Saturday 30 March 2013 14:53

Nawws

pdn5 5

Saturday 30 March 2013 15:16

haha I just turned 18 today too! Sorry for the terrible gifts OP! FYL, but hey at least they got you something.

jbunzie 6

Saturday 30 March 2013 15:25

i turned 18 yesterday and got nothing :p

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 30 March 2013 15:28

I really hope that you told them, and that they didn't say to be more appreciative.

TheNewGuy03 28

Saturday 30 March 2013 15:46

They tell you all about what you're supposed to do when life hands you lemons, but they don't mention pineapples. Hope things get sorted out...

MidnaLink 33

Saturday 30 March 2013 15:55

In this case, it's either blow up like puffer fish, or suffocate and die.

TheNewGuy03 28

Sunday 31 March 2013 8:15

It seems the end result will always be painful. OP can always give me the pineapple -- I'll just make a smoothie! :D

cetlawizard 15

Saturday 30 March 2013 16:01

They didn't watch Harry Potter & think you'd be double free if they gave you a pair of socks..did they? JK. Happy B-Day anyway OP

Cintia07 7

Saturday 30 March 2013 16:20

Save & regift for when they move to a nursery home

slacker_69 6

Saturday 30 March 2013 16:24

At least your parents didn't get you boxes(; and happy birthday OP

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Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 111

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

The Top

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 320

You deserved it 5 232

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 944

You deserved it 2 502

Today, I got my first positive Covid test. It's also the first day of a week-long vacation that included two things I'd been planning for weeks that I haven't done in years, and a trip somewhere I've been looking forward to for months. All shot to hell right before it began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 147

Today, and for the last 4 days, my 19-year-old son has been wearing a metal full face skull helmet and a black robe, and has renamed himself Beast. He also bought a sword from god knows where and refuses to leave the house, because the outside scares him. I may need an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 237

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 453

You deserved it 237

Today, a man approached my delivery van and asked for change for a $5 bill. I guess I should've expected him to grab the change and run off with the extra money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 717

You deserved it 6 650

Same thing different taste

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