Sex and Intimacy: Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while...

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 006

You deserved it 9 604

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Same thing different taste

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 44 856

By YeahWhatOkay - 09/02/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I looked at the Facebook page of the girl I really liked, and I saw that she'd written on her friend's wall, "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 451

You deserved it 4 844

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 19:41 - United States - Chicago Ridge

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 834

You deserved it 7 462

By Noname - 11/01/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 61 461

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

By wtf - 12/07/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 043

You deserved it 14 509

By sadman - 05/02/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 042

You deserved it 3 797

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 689

You deserved it 60 146

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 5 058

By anonymous - 21/11/2009 08:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 387

You deserved it 2 917

maddcow 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:36

maybe her ****** is just too big

Melanie_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:29

If it's 4 inches or bigger erect, don't worry about it. If it's less....seriously learn to develop other skills (though every man should anyway). Then you'll be 'that's the best p_ssy eater I've ever had in my life' instead of the small dicked guy. ;)

Comments

Gringo_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:59

What if she's only seen 3 or 4 dicks?

Justinc_ 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:06

#17 ...just because you're black.

qwertyuiop8989 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:14

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! @ #11

linzey 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:25

i agree with #11 her va jayjay is probably huge

lemon_squeezy 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:35

#30 you took the words right out of my mouth!

awefjio 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:58

hahahah #30

bigcrazymike 6

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:15

What if she just has a really big ******?

kandy_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:16

It's not the size of the boat. It's the motion of the ocean. Don't worry about it. Size doesn't matter. Huge, 8 inch penises isn't what women want. #30. If you're seriously going to call someone an idiot and a moron, then use proper grammar.

xalfredx 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:20

damn that's funny bro.haha but remember size does matter to these ******,so sucks for majority of guys

OMGhi2YOU 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:22

wow 30# you should calm down sorry that when he said she was looking at his page and then said THIS is the smallest penis ive ever seen made one think she was looking at a picture. if would have made more sense if it had said he has the smallest penis ever. get off your high horse asshole

constantine91 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:17

I didn't think that, and a lot of other people didn't think that either. only you and two other people believed his penis picture was posted on Facebook. Lol.