Sex and Intimacy: Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while...

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 006

You deserved it 9 604

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Same thing different taste

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 44 856

By YeahWhatOkay - 09/02/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I looked at the Facebook page of the girl I really liked, and I saw that she'd written on her friend's wall, "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 451

You deserved it 4 844

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 19:41 - United States - Chicago Ridge

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 834

You deserved it 7 462

By Noname - 11/01/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 61 461

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

By wtf - 12/07/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 043

You deserved it 14 509

By sadman - 05/02/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 042

You deserved it 3 797

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 689

You deserved it 60 146

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 5 058

By anonymous - 21/11/2009 08:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 387

You deserved it 2 917

maddcow 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:36

maybe her ****** is just too big

Melanie_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:29

If it's 4 inches or bigger erect, don't worry about it. If it's less....seriously learn to develop other skills (though every man should anyway). Then you'll be 'that's the best p_ssy eater I've ever had in my life' instead of the small dicked guy. ;)

Comments

OMGhi2YOU 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:25

ps. it doesnt take a rocket scientist to know the difference between you're, and your :)

Lqum26 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 1:04

Is this a school of grammar or an app? Please stop correcting people. If they make a mistake and you can't understand what they meant then you're usually the dumbass. so SHUT IT BITCH!

Tuxedo_Mask 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:34

LMFAO #32 ! i was thinking that too!

HerrKevin 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:57

#41: #30 is completely right, and has ought to be on the high horse pwning all you noobs. Seriously, a little common sense is required, otherwise you'll be the next one posting an FML of some dumbass mistake. And I will sit here and read it with smug satisfaction.

zidane312 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 4:58

yeah u got owned, but its ok there is a girl out there who loves tiny penis

OMGhi2YOU 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 5:01

#45 what kind of grammar is "has ought to be" use your own common sense dip stick

mckinneymacy 2

Wednesday 8 June 2011 4:22

ought to be is proper grammar.. you should learn some stuff before you jump the gun and clown on people!

wildsharks 1

Tuesday 17 April 2012 6:40

Says the girl who can't even use proper grammar herself.

daffy_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 5:27

#47, chill the **** out. You are commenting on people's grammar, while at the same time never using a capital letter or punctuation in you posts (and no, adding a random period or a coma doesn't count). With that said, do everyone a favor, and read the FML twice before posting. ****, you are stupid.

OMGhi2YOU 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 5:31

Man y'all are just mean. Sorry that I misread a FML that was missing words in the first place.

jSOPURE 3

Thursday 12 March 2009 6:12

#17- Your comment was the most ridiculous comment I have ever read since being on this site. #29- Shane Diesel references FTW. OP- At least you got laid. :)

vitiation4 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 6:48

Lol, I really find it funny that people are either trying to comfort him by telling it's not about size or the fact that some people here are F***ing retards, but this was a good laugh. It seems fake though... pretty convienent he walked up right as she was saying though. Oh well, shit happens ;)