Sex and Intimacy: Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while...

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 006

You deserved it 9 604

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Same thing different taste

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 44 856

By YeahWhatOkay - 09/02/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I looked at the Facebook page of the girl I really liked, and I saw that she'd written on her friend's wall, "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 451

You deserved it 4 844

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 19:41 - United States - Chicago Ridge

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 834

You deserved it 7 462

By Noname - 11/01/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 61 461

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 927

You deserved it 643

By wtf - 12/07/2009 16:20 - United States

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 043

You deserved it 14 509

By sadman - 05/02/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 042

You deserved it 3 797

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 689

You deserved it 60 146

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 5 058

By anonymous - 21/11/2009 08:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 387

You deserved it 2 917

maddcow 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:36

maybe her ****** is just too big

Melanie_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 1:29

If it's 4 inches or bigger erect, don't worry about it. If it's less....seriously learn to develop other skills (though every man should anyway). Then you'll be 'that's the best p_ssy eater I've ever had in my life' instead of the small dicked guy. ;)

Comments

OMGhi2YOU 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:15

wait...why is your penis on your facebook anyway?

constantine91 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:12

I hope you're joking, blondie.

swick25 22

Thursday 13 February 2014 23:51

anyone have a shot gun???? its duck season!!! Blonde duck season. seriously you stupid blonde there was no picture of his **** on Facebook. she ****** him stupid

loveaddiction 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:15

#17: you think 6 inches is small?? lol, wow, for each their own I guess.

Kassad_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:15

ouch if that may have hurt your little friend.

Bubs_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:16

#19: Noname is the default name given when people don't enter a name. Understand?

ManWh0re 0

Monday 15 March 2010 21:34

Isn't the default Anonomous? not sure if that was spelt right

OperationNicole_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:16

I know I'll sound like a prude, but maybe if you don't hook up with randoms it wouldn't happen. If the person cares about you or at least you know has an OUNCE of decency before you sleep with her, she won't be bringing you down to everyone anyways.

rathalosrocker 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:22

1. y was ur penis on facebook. 2. if its less than 5" then she's right. 3. if it is 5" or less, u have a smaller dick than a 14 year old. 4. if it is 5" or bigger. dont worry about it but look again at number one. WHY THE **** WAS UR DICK ON FACEBOOK?

coolboy6 0

Friday 20 August 2010 9:30

its not on facebook jackass

constantine91 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:14

Are people really this stupid or am I just not getting the joke here?...

OperationNicole_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:29

His thing is NOT on Facebook. His face is. The poster forgot a word...he meant "this is the one WITH..." Common sense, people.

devin333 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:34

#21 and #26.. THEY HAD SEX, she was showing her friend his picture...no penis on facebook...

gnt 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:44

6 inches is supposedly the average. There are A LOT more nerves endings near the vaginal entrance than deep inside (minus the g-spot). A person with 4 inches is probably able to hit the g-spot assuming he knows what he is doing. So to those that keep saying length matters, go read up. Sex can still suck even if you are as large as Shane diesel.

kamikaze_fml 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:53

#19 your a moron obviously the same person doesnt put up 50 FMLs a day, NONAME is the default. #25 yes, you are a prude, and some might say you need to get out more and have a life. #21 and #26, idiots, there's not much you can do about your lack of common sense though, and it does not take a rocket scientist to understand that his facebook page has nothing to do with the fact that she whipped out his penis when they hooked up last weekend, and that is what shes referring too. Yea, that just happened.