Kids: Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a...

By What the fuck, son? - 11/05/2013 16:21 - Netherlands - Amerongen

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 7 843

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Same thing different taste

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 799

You deserved it 5 269

By john r.t. - 10/11/2012 00:30 - United States - Eagle Pass

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 718

You deserved it 3 508

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 23:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 008

You deserved it 5 514

By need my own place - 24/10/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 938

You deserved it 1 594

By melonhead - 14/01/2010 08:46 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 885

You deserved it 3 725

By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 424

You deserved it 2 932

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 761

You deserved it 3 341

He Mad

By kitty - 09/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 527

You deserved it 155

By Fffhjno - 28/09/2016 18:15 - United States - Providence

Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 112

You deserved it 1 195

By DENTALITY - 23/05/2015 11:06 - Norway

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 053

You deserved it 3 668

ThePieGuy0817 29

Sunday 12 May 2013 2:59

Well, at least he's creative.

MadlyInLust 5

Sunday 12 May 2013 2:59

It could work...

Comments

ashjo 12

Sunday 12 May 2013 22:35

Watermelon flavoured weed, sounds good

HannahBee1017 9

Sunday 12 May 2013 23:53

Psh, do or do not, there is no try.

Hoff94_J 6

Monday 13 May 2013 1:25

Props lol!

Hxey 7

Monday 13 May 2013 2:02

How did you know it was a bong, huh? o.o

nikolkaw 9

Monday 13 May 2013 6:33

Thats like someone using a hefty bag for a condom.....it can still work!

twinkiz 4

Monday 13 May 2013 6:34

So?

scr_sensei 14

Monday 13 May 2013 15:34

Should've used the watermelon for vodka, not weed!

Landrykm91 6

Monday 13 May 2013 16:16

I know, what the ****?? A coconut works WAY better!

Chris_seh 1

Monday 13 May 2013 17:28

After i saw you are from the Netherlands, i was not suprised.

hendy_steve 0

Wednesday 15 May 2013 15:33

Why is everyone saying what to make it out of just buy a bong

Keywords

Surprise Love Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Parents Weekend Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Roommate Argument Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989." They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194 753

You deserved it 37 492

Today, I went for an interview in the big city, with an expensive commute. Despite being an office-based management role requiring years of experience, they only offered minimum wage. After explaining it wouldn't be acceptable and tried to negotiate, they kicked me out and had the balls to call me "ungrateful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 99

The Top

Today, I realised that despite all my careful Christmas preparation, there is one thing I forgot to get. The gift for my wife, which I should've picked up from the shop I ordered it from. It’s sat in that shop right now at 7pm on Christmas Eve. I’m a dead man tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 568

Today, I got a soap that my doctor recommended, because I'm allergic to the vast majority of soaps. After driving 45 miles to the only store that sells it, and paying $12 for a bottle, I found out I'm allergic to it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 772

You deserved it 292

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy if he bit me on the lips. Normally, I would have enjoyed it, if the lips in question were the ones on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 511

You deserved it 5 209

Today, my girlfriend gave me a two week notice for our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 731

You deserved it 372

Today, after years of being unable to work because of chronic illness, I finished my second week of a new job. I'm so utterly and completely wiped out, I don't know if I can continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 146

Today, I was at a house delivering pizza. As I walked away, I heard the mom mutter to her child, "That's why you go to college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 824

You deserved it 6 205

Same thing different taste

He Mad

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