Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon...

By lollipopgreen - 01/10/2011 12:33 - United States

Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 621

You deserved it 51 710

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Same thing different taste

By DeniedAgain - 29/06/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I walked into a gas station and saw some $.25 gum. It looked good and I thought I had a quarter in my pocket. I found no change in my pocket once I got to the register, so I pulled out my credit card. The cashier laughed a few seconds later when my card was declined for a piece of gum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 310

You deserved it 15 532

By Anonymous - 08/09/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 413

You deserved it 8 018

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 099

You deserved it 7 790

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 158

Keep some things to yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Plymouth

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 566

You deserved it 75 788

By yawho - 25/02/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 382

You deserved it 9 863

Nosferatu

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 296

You deserved it 16 398

By Corn-ed-Teeth - 30/04/2019 18:00

Today, I bit into a barbecue-ed corn cob, forgetting I had a filling on my chipped front tooth. I re-chipped it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 495

You deserved it 784

Stiff upper lip

By Diana - 26/01/2024 00:00 - Germany

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 86

Thanks, I hate it!

By Tay - 17/02/2012 01:29 - Australia

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 2 725

NoNotTheFace 8

Saturday 1 October 2011 16:16

At least you didn't make fun of him badly. It's not like you would know, right? "God must love you. He gave you a third ball."

ThatLooksSticky 16

Saturday 1 October 2011 16:17

Well...he probably has mouth cancer because of all the dip he's um, chewed? Sucked? Whatever you do with dip.

Comments

77777771 12

Saturday 1 October 2011 16:52

He might have got it from dip

ikickgingers 15

Saturday 1 October 2011 22:38

Or hpv. Just saying.

MuziKMajoR 5

Saturday 1 October 2011 16:57

Slap yoself!!!

winnn_fml 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 16:59

Who says jokes to the cashier. Stop delaying the line

sweettpie129 11

Saturday 1 October 2011 17:00

Your a "dipwad"

llamalpaca382 13

Friday 25 November 2011 21:34

*you're a dipwad :)

Lostinspacealone 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 17:02

You should feel bad. I hope u get mouth cancer, wait to far?

rainydayz133 6

Saturday 1 October 2011 17:08

Well it's not your fault that you din't know. But maybe try apologizing so he doesn't feel as bad.

yumazing 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 17:19

Feel bad for that guy.

hannahcorrine 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 17:25

Sorry. Doublepost. :(

mario3584 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 17:25

F OP life

terrask 11

Saturday 1 October 2011 17:27

Dont feel bad, how the hell were you supposed to know that? If it quacks like a duck, smells like a duck, moves like a duck and looks like a duck, Usually it's not an orantugan right?