Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed...

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 061

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 09:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 772

You deserved it 10 098

By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 759

You deserved it 3 754

By poopEVERYWHERE - 18/09/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 965

You deserved it 4 343

By mydadsawsooomuch - 17/11/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 159

You deserved it 9 825

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 521

You deserved it 4 962

By Lilragu97 - 26/07/2012 05:14 - United States - Exeter

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 2 395

By soawkward - 26/01/2012 19:09 - Canada

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 029

You deserved it 5 139

By malebonding - 17/08/2009 13:50 - United States

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 341

You deserved it 14 924

Morning conversation

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 08:01

Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 197

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 120

MeanBeagle 22

Tuesday 11 November 2014 23:52

well he ALMOST made it

silvercamaro 22

Wednesday 12 November 2014 0:25

He could be passed out drunk, so walking away and leaving him alone could actually result in him dying.

Comments

elsuperloco68 12

Wednesday 12 November 2014 4:58

hahaha. I've done the same thing , and freaked my kids out. Party till you drop.

stoogalishus 15

Wednesday 12 November 2014 5:05

#2's comment reminded me of Scrubs where JD kept passing out when he pooped, even while in jail.

iwanttogotoparis 26

Wednesday 12 November 2014 5:54

Hope he's ok

godspeedkills 8

Wednesday 12 November 2014 6:00

Dear Diary, Jackpot!

PengiPou 12

Wednesday 12 November 2014 6:11

Maybe an ambulance ride needs to be arranged?

ezrajab 22

Wednesday 12 November 2014 6:13

That's terrible

ezrajab 22

Wednesday 12 November 2014 6:14

Your poor father!

jdcg116 10

Wednesday 12 November 2014 7:25

One tequila, two tequila, 3 tequila floor.

icandothecancan 24

Wednesday 12 November 2014 7:32

Vasovagal Syncope, or the "poo-fainting" disease. Thank you "Scrubs" for teaching me strange and useful information.

DenBriZel 31

Wednesday 12 November 2014 7:52

That's... Awkward..

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The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 83

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

The Top

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 602

You deserved it 3 592

Today, I drove a total of 4 hours for my boss to demote me, downgrade my pay, and make the kid I hired my new boss. Why? Because I asked about the $500 missing from my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 863

You deserved it 178

Today, I used a blanket outside for a picnic. Later, while throwing it in the washer, I noticed a lizard jump out to land inbetween the bowl and the side. Then I noticed a wasp had joined it. I'm scared to open my washer now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 057

You deserved it 600

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 740

Today, after years of difficulty, I finally found the perfect shade of foundation that matches my ultra-pale complexion. It's called "Death Flesh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 481

You deserved it 2 355

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 589

You deserved it 4 947

Same thing different taste

Morning conversation

Eye bleach

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