Kids: Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend...

FML for mobile
Free

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 261

You deserved it 3 508

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 699

You deserved it 640

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 802

You deserved it 6 167

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 701

You deserved it 540

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 553

You deserved it 48 228

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 742

You deserved it 3 811

Collateral damage

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 05:01

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 380

You deserved it 400

Yuck.

By bdsam - 23/01/2018 06:00

Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 414

You deserved it 1 262

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 721

You deserved it 5 763

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 110

You deserved it 3 063

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 21:59

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 2 567

crabbyabby718 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:47

Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol

jbird1193 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:46

What a bozo.

Comments

nachos99 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:13

If your daughter is 15 or older this is completely normal

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 1 September 2011 1:33

Yeah, I can't count the number of times I have found a sleeping clown duct taped to the ceiling of my shed.

theonlysweetpea 10

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:24

That is ******* hilarious. I may not be laughing out loud but this situation deserves it.

Bikrbum 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:24

That is hilarious!!

cleolappost 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:27

sweet!! did ya take pictures??!!!

IsBitchBetter 1

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:34

Most.Awesome. FML. Ever!

tehzilla 12

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:34

Wow. I would not be expecting that if I walked into a shed.. I'd probably shit my pants.

clouse94 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:35

That's a weird fetish....

aliciarokz 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:40

That is amazing who is the mastermind behind this?

lexybear17 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:44

I'm seriously interested to know if that was some weird sex game or what exactly happened haha

atlanta_lex 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 20:45

******* awesome

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Embarrassing Sports Underwear Miscellaneous Birthday Surprise My ex Love Family Texting Awkward Cute Kids Transportation Cars Relatable Clothes Mysterious Housework Friends Intimacy Sex Money Healthy Lifestyle ACAB Neighbours Noise Management Bosses

The Top

Today, I'm 25 and still a virgin. At this point I'm not sure to feel embarrassed or proud. Imagine being 25 and not know what the fuck you are doing in the bedroom. I don't know who it would be more awkward for, me or them. Maybe I'll just avoid human interaction all together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 184

Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour. I heard my phone ring and couldn't find it. I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled my car. The ringing? A commercial on the radio. Where was my phone? On my dresser at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 965

You deserved it 71 809

The Top

Today, even though I was curious about my ex's new fling, I didn't want to do anything that would put them in an uncomfortable situation. Apparently, that changed when I took an Ambien to get some rest, as I woke up to find out that I'd sleep-followed them. They've already followed me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 406

Today, my coworker and I were waiting outside the bar to pick up my dad. When he got in the car, my VERY drunk dad, instead of greeting us, looked my coworker dead in the eye and asked, “Are you fucking my daughter?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 184

Today, at my catering job, a woman left me a fake £10 note as a tip, which was actually one of those stupid invitations to attend her church, since "God is more valuable than cash." I have two kids and a wealthy ex refusing to pay support, so I’d have preferred no tip at all instead of this bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 162

Today, my Amazon delivery was delayed. I just moved to a new place and that delivery had my pillow and blanket. I can't go buy them in person since I'm self-isolating and the heating isn't working either. Guess I'm sleeping in the freezing cold on the bare mattress one more night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 286

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 128

You deserved it 4 695

Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 796

You deserved it 2 204

Same thing different taste

Collateral damage

Yuck.

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

Top comments

Comments