Kids: Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend...

By piece of shed - 31/08/2011 14:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 248

You deserved it 3 503

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Same thing different taste

By loser - 20/05/2018 15:00

Today, I woke up to find my 6-year-old daughter had duct taped me to my bed and dropped my wallet down the toilet. Well played. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 693

You deserved it 640

By calliefml - 26/04/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 791

You deserved it 6 164

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 697

You deserved it 538

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 548

You deserved it 48 206

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 732

You deserved it 3 806

Collateral damage

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 05:01

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 397

Yuck.

By bdsam - 23/01/2018 06:00

Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 407

You deserved it 1 257

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 5 759

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 061

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 21:59

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 2 542

crabbyabby718 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:47

Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol

jbird1193 3

Wednesday 31 August 2011 18:46

What a bozo.

Comments

Baia_girl77 11

Wednesday 31 August 2011 21:17

It could of been worse, he could of been naked too.

zombifysara 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 21:56

Could have. It could HAVE been worse.

MsMeiriona 2

Thursday 1 September 2011 8:09

Thank you for saying that. I was afraid I was going to have to be the one to correct them.

nickfraxer 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 21:21

Epic

kickblocker 18

Wednesday 31 August 2011 21:27

Thats more along the lines of: **** HIS Life

sparky360 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 21:51

Sounds like ur daughter is into so FREAKY stuff man lol

KingZant 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:02

Is that so much fail that it's win, or vice versa?

Bloodlvst 10

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:04

Is your daughter's father named Red Green by chance? It would explain how she got such great skills with duct tape

lostgumball 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:08

Hilarious! I feel worse for the boyfriend then the OP.

laideehawk 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:10

How did this even happen? Who knew duct tape could defy the laws of gravity?!

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:29

Duct tape is all powerful!.. It can do -ANYTHING-

laideehawk 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 23:39

May the Force be with him!

HomeAl0ne 20

Thursday 1 September 2011 1:35

I'm predicting that eventually String Theory will be replaced by Duct Tape Theory.

jessesgirl14 16

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:17

This is not an fml but a FHL! Lmao!! How dis he not feel that?!

kateheartswaffle 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 22:17

that's sorta creepy.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

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I agree, your life sucks 23 540

You deserved it 1 905

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 57

The Top

Today, the novelty of shaving a heart into my pubic hair for my wife vanished, when I woke up to find a collection of scabs around my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 344

You deserved it 15 745

Today, I went to the dentist and she told me, "If you don't stop smoking, yellow teeth aren't the only thing you'll have to worry about." I don't even smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 121

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 536

You deserved it 2 926

Today, my phone chose not to deliver a message to my girlfriend. This isn't the first time either; It has a habit of failing to deliver or receive messages to/from her, making it look like I'm ignoring her by not responding. It only does this with her, none of my other contacts. My phone may be trying to sabotage my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 155

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 071

You deserved it 7 473

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 547

You deserved it 5 212

Same thing different taste

Collateral damage

Yuck.

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

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