Love: Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 169

You deserved it 64 348

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By 117halo12345 - 17/12/2015 21:37 - United States - Sedgewickville

Today, I was showing my 4 year old some of my fire magic tricks. I ended up getting 2nd degree burns on my left hand and burnt off half of her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 282

You deserved it 21 736

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 680

You deserved it 3 929

By failure as a parent - 11/05/2013 21:19 - United States - Bound Brook

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 426

You deserved it 6 290

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 820

You deserved it 29 366

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 288

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 462

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 477

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 198

You deserved it 8 411

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 159

You deserved it 5 786

Next

Top comments

pianoman05st 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:00

you don't do a trick like this inside a house glad she's pressing charges

menother 2

Wednesday 9 June 2010 11:58

This is why you don't learn FIRE tricks from videos online that could easily be doctored. Although you probably need one now. Doesn't it take YEARS of practice for someone to learn this kind of trick in the real world?

Comments

hedgehogs 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 3:45

Good for her! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?

NothingToAdd 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 3:47

She probably has to for insurance to cover the loss of her stuff. Fire does not belong inside!

alexxss_fml 10

Thursday 10 June 2010 3:49

some girlfriend you have

iloveTheMiz 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 3:51

If you aint a proffesinonal, don't ******* attempt it!

bkmjet 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 4:08

dumbass, don't play with fire indoors

skylerviper14 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 4:12

whtat does op mean?

derp1243 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 4:27

ydi 4 playing with fire INSIDE.

JessiiBabii 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 4:28

Ahw, poor you. At least you tried. (:

lemonlift 6

Thursday 10 June 2010 4:48

Outch! haha... in more ways then one.

starpowerr 0

Thursday 10 June 2010 5:00

wow fyl

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The Top

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 473

Today, it's day one of my suspension and probably being fired from my job. Why? I accidentally took a beer out my bag instead of a soda, then got distracted working to make sure everything got done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 529

The Top

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 151

You deserved it 7 961

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 1 142

Today, I got to my log cabin after an hour's hiking. I lit the fire because it was freezing and my stupid dog sniffed the fire, looked me in the eye, then jumped right into the fire and knocked the logs everywhere. My cabin is now ashes and I had an hour's hike back to my car with my stupid dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 184

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 546

You deserved it 4 139

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 039

You deserved it 3 768

Today, I learned the hard way that I'm allergic to a particular brand of tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 90