Love: Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 169

You deserved it 64 348

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Same thing different taste

By 117halo12345 - 17/12/2015 21:37 - United States - Sedgewickville

Today, I was showing my 4 year old some of my fire magic tricks. I ended up getting 2nd degree burns on my left hand and burnt off half of her hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 282

You deserved it 21 736

By blck - 01/01/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 680

You deserved it 3 929

By failure as a parent - 11/05/2013 21:19 - United States - Bound Brook

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 426

You deserved it 6 290

By CandlesSuck - 02/11/2009 03:44 - Canada

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 820

You deserved it 29 366

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 288

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 462

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 477

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 198

You deserved it 8 411

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 159

You deserved it 5 786

Next

Top comments

pianoman05st 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 12:00

you don't do a trick like this inside a house glad she's pressing charges

menother 2

Wednesday 9 June 2010 11:58

This is why you don't learn FIRE tricks from videos online that could easily be doctored. Although you probably need one now. Doesn't it take YEARS of practice for someone to learn this kind of trick in the real world?

Comments

Namenlos_fml 20

Wednesday 9 June 2010 21:38

You. Are. A. ******* IDIOT!!!! You're supposed to do that shit outside!! I hope you lose a ton of money in a lawsuit, or get enrolled in a special education class. Either or both fates would be fitting.

abbie14 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 21:46

key words "on the internet"

xxxmoneyxxx 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 21:47

clearly ur an idiot for breathing fire in her bedroom. I would too press charges.

goddessunleashed 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 23:02

Don't play with fire. You might get burned.

toast1b 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 23:11

Why couldn't you just diet, and workout and show her your abs. You might of got lucky

TwoFlushTurd 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 23:15

Moron

desertRat 3

Wednesday 9 June 2010 23:29

good you ******* moron

difadam 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 23:37

Ever think of showing her outside? dumbass

NeroKR13 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 23:51

lol noob

Anteezy 7

Wednesday 9 June 2010 23:51

Casually mention that you're an alcoholic, and then have an epiphany on the spot on how your alcoholism relates to your stupid behavior.

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The Top

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You deserved it 3 110

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I agree, your life sucks 58 879

You deserved it 5 514

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I agree, your life sucks 13 942

You deserved it 1 185

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I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 425