Sextoys and Intimacy: Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled,...

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By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 17:11 - Belgium

Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 575

You deserved it 10 943

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 320

You deserved it 5 349

Then it dawned on me…

By Bad dad - 14/08/2022 22:00

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 196

By C BOMB - 14/09/2015 23:58 - Australia - Toowong

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 895

You deserved it 19 372

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 594

You deserved it 36 426

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 791

By The Cat Tickler - 13/09/2018 15:00

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 1 414

Assumptions

By oops - 08/05/2013 14:44 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 592

You deserved it 5 697

By facepalm - 05/06/2012 14:48 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 558

You deserved it 2 342

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 897

You deserved it 13 701

For all ages

By You Wish - 07/03/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year-old grandmother's bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen, it started vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 548

You deserved it 71 786

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 24 November 2010 22:17

"MOM! Your new lipstick tastes funny!"

6sick6 4

Wednesday 24 November 2010 22:27

"Mom, why does your lipstick taste like a ******?" "How do you know what a ****** tastes like?" ..Awkward silence..

Comments

moviegirl6 5

Thursday 25 November 2010 0:07

It was a vibrator you dolt. -_-

sweeney18 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 0:20

ewwy! Ahaha. vibrators are funny.. well.. atleast you didn't put it in your mouth....right?

mola_mola 3

Wednesday 8 December 2010 1:38

who puts lipstick "in" their mouth :P

zenti 2

Thursday 25 November 2010 0:52

You're complaining when you went digging in someone else's purse to try on something that doesn't belong to you? Tsk tsk.

hollylollyxoxo 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 1:33

to the commenters~ how is she supposed to know it was a vibrator and not lipstick before looking at it?? they make vibrators to look like discrete things like lipstick and children's bath toys. look it up =)