Sextoys and Intimacy: Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled,...

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 17:11 - Belgium

Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 10 938

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 305

You deserved it 5 341

Then it dawned on me…

By Bad dad - 14/08/2022 22:00

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 194

By C BOMB - 14/09/2015 23:58 - Australia - Toowong

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 892

You deserved it 19 362

By Anonymous - 19/09/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 591

You deserved it 36 415

By Awkward Jeff - 26/05/2019 12:30

Today, I was home alone, so for fun I put red lipstick on. A few minutes later, my doorbell rang. I managed to get it off before I got the door. I saw my neighbor, and had a long conversation with him. After which, I came inside and realized I had lipstick all over my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 788

By The Cat Tickler - 13/09/2018 15:00

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 1 410

Assumptions

By oops - 08/05/2013 14:44 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 582

You deserved it 5 694

By facepalm - 05/06/2012 14:48 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 544

You deserved it 2 342

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

For all ages

By You Wish - 07/03/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year-old grandmother's bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen, it started vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 541

You deserved it 71 761

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 24 November 2010 22:17

"MOM! Your new lipstick tastes funny!"

6sick6 4

Wednesday 24 November 2010 22:27

"Mom, why does your lipstick taste like a ******?" "How do you know what a ****** tastes like?" ..Awkward silence..

Comments

uzee 29

Thursday 25 November 2010 13:45

you actually put it on your lips before figuring out it could vibrate - dumb ppl everywhere

GangstaGalahleio 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 14:04

grottyyyy!!

SoulBaby 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 16:03

wth all of u r ass holes disgusting

strawberry6826 0

Thursday 25 November 2010 20:35

vibrators come that small that you mistaken it for lipstick? o_Ο

Jonscarl 0

Friday 26 November 2010 5:00

it's a clit vibrator that's why it's so small.

Djosef_fml 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 3:47

Why on earth would you share lipstick with someone? Or sharing a lollypop, a toothbrush, the same glass? You don't do that unless you enjoy sharing your saliva, cold, flu, and herpese. Hello? Basic hygene?

xNephilim 18

Friday 1 August 2014 5:51

Really? It's OPs mom. After being pushed out of someone's ******, I wouldn't too much worry about their germs.

Herox 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 20:21

lol yeah imagine going to your mom and you for got you tried it,"Sweetie why does your breath smell like a zoo" "Aaaah mom why do YOU smell like a zoo...." >.> AWKWARD XD

Lollyman 2

Friday 10 June 2011 13:20

Some people don't know but there are actualy some vibrators that look exactly like lipstick, that way women can carry it in their bags. I have seen it online in sex shops. So funny!