Love: Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious...

By Noah - 16/08/2016 18:43 - United States - South Haven

Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 733

You deserved it 2 913

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 123

You deserved it 4 709

Strategic

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 13:50 - South Africa

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 764

You deserved it 95 437

By soembarrassed - 02/08/2009 13:40 - Australia

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 525

You deserved it 12 490

By Anonymous - 27/05/2014 19:26 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 772

You deserved it 5 502

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 3 711

By lifesucks - 24/02/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 963

You deserved it 50 278

By Anoymous - 18/09/2013 18:31 - Slovakia - Bratislava

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 219

You deserved it 12 053

By Noname - 15/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 344

You deserved it 5 629

Dodged some bullshit

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 14:00

Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 131

You deserved it 183

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 799

You deserved it 11 968

Red_Ralph 16

Wednesday 17 August 2016 10:03

That was a "wasted" opportunity to punch that guy. I'm so sorry

DadMom 13

Wednesday 17 August 2016 10:30

You should've responded by throwing up in his drink. That'll show him

Comments

MitiMiki 16

Wednesday 17 August 2016 20:33

Take some advice from a professional. If you are drinking to the point of vomiting and find yourself in bars on a regular basis, you may want to take some personal inventory and re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol.

Knittedbirch 8

Thursday 18 August 2016 1:22

I mean, maybe, but we don't even know if the drinking was related to the puking. If OP has a sensitive stomach, it could be anything from carsickness to overindulgence in potato chips to a completely unrelated medical issue. I don't think this story is enough to label them as an alcoholic just yet.

NoahK2003 16

Thursday 18 August 2016 14:04

You're right. I do have a sensitive stomach and do not drink on a regular basis. Something tells me I had some flu virus still left in me... I had had the flu a week before. Thanks for publishing, anyway, and thanks for the supportive comments folks.

Knittedbirch 8

Thursday 18 August 2016 1:19

On the plus side, you got the puke back into the glass. Now everyone knows you as the guy who puked but tried to be nice to the cleaning staff while doing it. Much more dignified.

dj70 3

Thursday 18 August 2016 6:00

What a jackass thing to do especially in a public place.

jbivens1992 17

Friday 19 August 2016 1:43

**** your life indeed my friend, however that was very considerate of you to puke into the glass rather than on the floor, on your friends...ect. Hopefully your girlfriend thought it was funny (I'm sure it wasn't to you but to an outsider it kind of is) and didn't give you to much grief.