Miscellaneous: Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before...

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 883

You deserved it 2 608

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Autocorrected - 26/11/2012 20:13 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I had some soup that my dad made. I took one sip and found he had put tons of hot sauce in it. I rushed to drink from a soda can sitting on the counter, only to find that my mom had used it as an ash tray the night before. I can still taste the hot sauce, and the ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 470

You deserved it 3 390

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 3 511

By DemonicDummy - 05/01/2017 05:06

Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 689

You deserved it 2 716

Wafting

By Anonymous woman - 05/10/2024 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, at a family gathering, I was talking to my uncle about my "awful neighbor who smokes pot all day while listening to shitty bro country, and tries to cover the smell with cheap incense." After a moment of awkward silence, I remembered my cousin, his son, is my neighbor. He was more offended by the fact that I'd insulted his taste in music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 445

By TappedAnts - 08/04/2016 01:45 - United States - Seabrook

Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 091

You deserved it 1 350

By some things never change - 28/11/2012 23:04 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 545

You deserved it 1 981

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 741

You deserved it 2 420

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 138

You deserved it 32 057

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 462

You deserved it 3 147

Speak for yourself

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 1 656

pavlovaaLOVE 7

Wednesday 13 June 2012 12:29

Take the liberty to piss in the soup u make when they go to your place :)

yoursucklives 36

Wednesday 13 June 2012 12:30

lovely family you have there... and: i'm from austria too. i don't know why, but i love reading fmls from my country!

Comments

mrbobmarley4 8

Wednesday 13 June 2012 16:43

Because you touch yourself at night.

noisebox 1

Wednesday 13 June 2012 16:50

I think there's some unresolved issues in your family....wow

iFaisal 3

Wednesday 13 June 2012 17:01

That's why they call it a family.

soad2014 7

Wednesday 13 June 2012 17:06

Maybe they were out of flour and needed something to thicken the soup?

kumar1995 4

Wednesday 13 June 2012 17:59

I hope u weren't hungry after that!

random_jay 6

Wednesday 13 June 2012 19:03

"mmmm... What's the secret auntie?" "Now if I told you that it wouldn't be a secret"

Unbweavable 17

Wednesday 13 June 2012 19:16

Just be happy you saw it before you ate it. But what if they spit in something else ?

vbmg152 18

Wednesday 13 June 2012 19:17

At least you saw it! You should've busted them right then & there! Everyone else deserves to know do, they don't go back to her house for dinner again! Shame on them for doing it, shame on you for not busting them!!

Bright_Lights 14

Wednesday 13 June 2012 19:19

And I thought my family was bad...

Haven246 7

Wednesday 13 June 2012 19:23

Spit won't kill you, smoking will. Get over it.

ramseyrutherford 2

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:00

Smoking doesn't kill you, people in my immediate family live till their late 80's after smoking 40+ cigarettes a day... Just because they say it on tv doesnt mean it's true. Every person with cancer didn't smoke, or we're around someone smoking. Cancer is a cell in the body not divining correctly, which happens naturally without outside influences.