Kids: Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my...

By DemonicDummy - 05/01/2017 05:06

Today, after smoking, I sat down to watch Supernatural with my young cousin. I accidentally let out a burp during a demonic possession scene and, to our surprise, smoke came out of my mouth. Now there's a crying 11-year-old hiding somewhere in the house with salt. Mom will be home in 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 689

You deserved it 2 716

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Same thing different taste

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 883

You deserved it 2 608

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 332

You deserved it 56 153

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 741

You deserved it 2 420

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 628

You deserved it 73 909

By Anonymous - 23/09/2009 10:23 - Singapore

Today, I was playing hide and seek with my eight year old cousin. For the past two turns, he had been hiding in the bathroom. I saw the bathroom lights on, yet again, and opened the door with a triumphant "AHA!" It was my Grandma, taking a smelly dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 411

You deserved it 38 115

No fun

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 20:01

Today, I was finishing a cigarette outside of the mall when we heard someone fart. Turns out it was a little girl. They looked around, so jokingly I said, "We didn't hear anything." Her family giggled and so did we, until everyone realized the little girl was now sobbing. I'm a POS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 204

By lambeaster - 20/01/2016 14:27 - United States - Washington

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 825

You deserved it 3 714

Big tasty

By reisz618 - 31/05/2019 07:00

Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 600

By Dx - 06/03/2011 07:18 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 235

You deserved it 34 895

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 138

You deserved it 32 057

Tripartita 44

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:03

Welp, you have no choice but to stage your own exorcism, writhe around on the floor, and pretend to be rid of that cursed demon.

Laphog 17

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:04

You should be glad he didn't use any of the other methods Sam and Dean have tried over the years .

Comments

_Shake_n_Bake__ 11

Thursday 5 January 2017 6:58

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Tripartita 44

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:03

Welp, you have no choice but to stage your own exorcism, writhe around on the floor, and pretend to be rid of that cursed demon.

jdogg1971 0

Thursday 5 January 2017 13:23

I love your comments

Laphog 17

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:04

You should be glad he didn't use any of the other methods Sam and Dean have tried over the years .

loofde 12

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:13

Might wanna start reading in on demonic possesion, just to be on the sure side....;)

Cali 54

Thursday 5 January 2017 7:13

I think this is when white lies (I have magical powers and/or acid reflux, etc.) come in handy. I mean, if they believe in demonic possession they'll believe anything. Right?

mrustnz 5

Thursday 5 January 2017 8:35

maybe not let 11 year old watch supernatural? YDI

GhostFox 33

Thursday 5 January 2017 8:47

Okay, as someone who's lungs were basically ruined as a kid because a huge chunk of my family smoked, I feel a little obligated to question why you think smoking around a kid is a good idea. Especially since the smoke lingers not only in your clothes, but can have bubbles get trapped in your lungs/wherever. Someone who smokes isn't very likely to care about that sort of thing, but I still suggest using alternative methods of getting your nicotine fix when around children. In regards to the kid- you scared them, now you have to deal with the consequences.

XxfrenchyyXx 12

Thursday 5 January 2017 9:50

If you re-read it, it states that she was smoking and once she was done she sat next to her cousin. She wasn't smoking around him.

GhostFox 33

Thursday 5 January 2017 10:42

And if you read my comment, you'd note that I said that smoke lingers in clothes. Which it does. Except unlike what the person smoking the cigarette inhales, the part that everyone else inhales is unfiltered and has even more carcinogenic shit in it. And that stuff lingers for days to weeks.