Kids: Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys...

By outsmartedbykids - 28/05/2014 16:28 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 635

You deserved it 30 860

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 033

You deserved it 7 526

By downlowtooslow - 12/06/2009 04:49 - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 655

You deserved it 6 873

Fussy eater

By germaphobe - 19/08/2021 20:59 - United States

Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 154

Incoming!

By mvgirl - 22/10/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 081

You deserved it 5 598

Whoops

By smth - 06/07/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 361

You deserved it 58 716

By McChunky =( - 09/03/2009 08:25 - United States

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 048

You deserved it 9 175

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 416

You deserved it 42 040

By laughxlove - 23/08/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 822

You deserved it 32 987

By Kathryn - 08/08/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 440

You deserved it 15 855

Let him cook

By Max - 09/04/2014 18:32 - United States

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 227

You deserved it 6 076

sirsquab 12

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:39

Those kids are going places.

Rosebudx 32

Wednesday 28 May 2014 23:38

At least you've taught them to listen closely.

Comments

penguin_bitchez 15

Thursday 29 May 2014 14:02

I'm failing to see why this is an fml..

WildJubeJube 16

Thursday 29 May 2014 14:35

Hahaha nice

tallenp 1

Thursday 29 May 2014 16:30

One of my boys tried the same thing. Came back with green m&m's from the dessert bar. Tried to tell me it was fried okra! Gotta love em.

ChefChris 2

Thursday 29 May 2014 17:21

You deserved it for going to a buffet, the most unhealthy and unsanitary means of eating. Those greens wouldn't be worth much.

Xeebar 28

Thursday 29 May 2014 17:32

HA!! Your boys are on their way to becoming excellent politicians. Techincalities win the day again!

whys0serious 12

Thursday 29 May 2014 19:27

To quote a popular 80s movie: Why is everything 'heavy' in the future? No, really, why can't people be a little more positive and stop seeing the bad in everything. How about being happy and enjoying a nice day with the family? How about being proud of your obviously not so dumb kids? Some people (for a reason that I don't really understand mostly women) really do have 'first world problems' - the OP should go to 9gag.

winimy 8

Thursday 29 May 2014 19:43

smart kids, I love it.

sgardner10682 4

Thursday 29 May 2014 20:06

Hahahaha

anon_e_m00se 8

Thursday 29 May 2014 21:52

That's not an FML ... that's a "parenting done right". You have taught your children to think creatively and critically. They've raised the bar in this battle of wits, now it's your turn to rise to that challenge (which will continue to build up their intellectual prowess ... and might help yours as well).