Love: Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie....

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 20:13 - Canada - Pierrefonds

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 635

You deserved it 3 534

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Same thing different taste

Bad omen

By pupitre - 18/10/2011 00:16 - Canada

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 495

You deserved it 4 956

By joking0303 - 16/07/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 136

You deserved it 6 469

By kill the audience - 10/11/2016 17:51 - United States - Lewes

Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 470

You deserved it 2 020

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 391

You deserved it 4 322

Take the W

By FML - 18/01/2012 19:41 - United States

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 765

You deserved it 4 778

By sadness - 12/10/2012 02:48 - United States - Metairie

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 408

You deserved it 2 289

Grab the balls by the horn, dude

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 18:00

Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 557

By ug - 08/07/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 742

You deserved it 4 549

First Dates

By mildver - 20/04/2009 04:51 - Costa Rica

Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 693

You deserved it 4 610

By yum. - 10/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 430

You deserved it 4 744

MissEmma_fml 22

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:32

Forever alone.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:32

You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:35

Love that empty chair like it was the last love you will ever have.

Oceanlondon 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:38

imaginary friends for life.

teresee 8

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:39

It's like the cause of old cat ladies all over the world. Darn those fortune cookies.

Kallian_fml 21

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:43

Was it a sexy chair? O.o

LonelyLoser93 3

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:07

Trolled by a fortune cookie. Lol just teasing. Sorry OP, don't worry you'll find the love of your life when you least expect it. Chin up. :)

jman112 2

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:08

That chair is meant for you

dossome 1

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:24

What a coincidence! They had picture on Funny Pics that describes your exact same situation. Weird

holierthanbloodx 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:26

Defective fortune?

stormchaser24 24

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:38

It is just a damn cookie, they have thousands that say the same thing. But could be worse, like it could have been your sister. FOREVER ALONE? FYL

DylansMomma 9

Wednesday 8 August 2012 2:46

Your comment : Haha, that's hilarious! Sucks to be you OP, if you believe in those things.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 812

You deserved it 9 769

The Top

Today, my boss walked down to my office with me to get some paperwork after a very tense, important meeting. He patiently waited while I tried to unlock my office door with my remote for my car. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 562

You deserved it 25 769

Today, I got tipped more than I have in my bank account. It was $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 017

You deserved it 6 184

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mario Kart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!" Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 653

You deserved it 7 010

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 788

You deserved it 73 584

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 376

You deserved it 101 619

Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 810

You deserved it 143