Love: Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie....

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 20:13 - Canada - Pierrefonds

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 635

You deserved it 3 534

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Same thing different taste

Bad omen

By pupitre - 18/10/2011 00:16 - Canada

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 495

You deserved it 4 956

By joking0303 - 16/07/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, my friend gave me a fortune cookie that said, "Don't be saddened by an upcoming event". Three hours later my girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was too superstitious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 136

You deserved it 6 469

By kill the audience - 10/11/2016 17:51 - United States - Lewes

Today, I was sitting in the restaurant waiting for my blind date to come. I had sat for an hour until I finally got fed up and went to leave when at the same time the guy at the table next to me stood up to leave too. I noticed he had been sitting alone. Turns out he was my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 470

You deserved it 2 020

By Anonymous - 13/03/2013 23:22 - United States

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 391

You deserved it 4 322

Take the W

By FML - 18/01/2012 19:41 - United States

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 765

You deserved it 4 778

By sadness - 12/10/2012 02:48 - United States - Metairie

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 408

You deserved it 2 289

Grab the balls by the horn, dude

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 18:00

Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 557

By ug - 08/07/2009 20:51 - Canada

Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 742

You deserved it 4 549

First Dates

By mildver - 20/04/2009 04:51 - Costa Rica

Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 693

You deserved it 4 610

By yum. - 10/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 430

You deserved it 4 744

MissEmma_fml 22

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:32

Forever alone.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:32

You didn't look far enough. The real love of your life is the buffet across the room. Send me an invitation to the wedding.

Comments

sweethang26 7

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:38

At least it wasn't your brother/sister!

your_ma 27

Wednesday 8 August 2012 1:00

Yeah because everything a fortune cookie says is true and OP would have had to marry their sibling and have lots of inbred babies!!

dead_insects 18

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:41

if only all life was as simple as a message in a cookie... worry not, if its true love, it'll find you. til then, enjoy the Chinese food..yum!

outoftown 26

Wednesday 8 August 2012 23:21

#14, That sounded good until I saw your username. Shades of windshield roadkill FML... shiver.

dead_insects 18

Thursday 9 August 2012 9:04

#195: I have that effect on people. you're not alone... but now that my work here is done, I shall leave you to your shivers ^_~

TheFirstSamurai 18

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:43

Well what are you waiting for OP? Take this opportunity and romance that chair!

jose562 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:44

At least it wasn't any of your family members.

kitsune3 20

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:44

Don't worry about it, OP. It's just a fortune cookie. They're not exactly legit.

perdix 29

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:45

Go plunk your ass in a chair across from a hot guy and hand him the fortune. He'll be so surprised he'll accept your Egg Fu Young. You two can fu four or five times that night.

dead_insects 18

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:50

exactly, cuz after you fu, you're in the mood for more fu an hour later! ^_^

br0ccoli 14

Wednesday 8 August 2012 6:43

19-Someone has the gift for Hallmark. A friend of mine just sent a "Thank you for having sex with me" card. You are on trend.

krylonpony 3

Wednesday 8 August 2012 15:08

Cuz everyone was young fu fighting! DananananananaNA, Oooooo they were fast as lightning!

tennisrapper1 14

Wednesday 8 August 2012 0:46

I know I'm taking this a little seriously; I'm in a serious mood right now. Fortune cookies don't determine life to its end. It's the choices you make and when you make them.