Miscellaneous: Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family....

By gbhlaughingstock - 18/08/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 239

You deserved it 9 750

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Weedle - 04/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 1 897

By Simon - 30/12/2008 11:14 - France

Today, as a prank I shook my girlfriend's can of soda. I hadn't noticed that it was already open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 133

You deserved it 53 526

It's just a prank, bro!

By HOPE YOU GET PEGGED - 21/10/2012 23:00 - Canada - Hinton

Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 577

You deserved it 2 418

Life and soul of the party

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:08 - United States - San Antonio

Today, during a party, my drunk mother stumbled over to take a picture of me and my brother. She told me to put a party blower in my mouth for the picture, but I politely declined. She threatened to spank me in front of everyone if I didn't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 632

You deserved it 2 289

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 512

You deserved it 6 567

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 270

You deserved it 478

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 175

You deserved it 54 763

By Nick - 13/08/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 406

You deserved it 147 123

When feral kids attack

By GracieGirl - 04/10/2019 06:00

Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 113

Double entendre

By mel - 11/05/2012 21:23 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 022

You deserved it 3 159

sawdy 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:01

your dad is a BBEAST!!!!!!!!!

shaniqualee 2

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:00

Suck the foam off

Comments

notsocrafty 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:04

hilarious! was it a catholic school?

gbhlaughingstock 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:09

Haha no it was a public school, but I just got back from Japan so I was TRYING to make a good first impression on everyone. xD

TurdMonkey 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:13

that is an AWESOME first impression. now everyone knows your dad is a supa freak and hopefully all the chicks will assume it runs in the family

sublime93 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 3:30

Hey! Where's the little gold award thing that OP's get when they comment?

Ozmat 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 5:53

on the right...

Crazee108 3

Saturday 22 August 2009 17:52

AAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH!!!! God that made my day. how lame. =(

somethingawesome 9

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:08

It'll be okay. Just be patient.

Vitamin_C 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:09

HAHA! Epic win!

heygirlheyyyyy 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:09

this is the first fml in a very long time that has made me literally laugh out loud, i even snorted. thanks. ^^

cuteguyoO 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:12

lolroflmaolololhahalklroflmaololzharofllolololwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtflolololroflmao

JillianIsLoveee 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:12

WIN

survivalism 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:13

Your dad's awesome.

Ringoisastarr 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:13

THIS IS ******* HILARIOUS. Thank you for brightening my day.

shananigans 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:13

I actually LOL'd at this one. Great FML.

pieofchrist 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 2:14

lol! I hope he wasn't saying that with the knowledge of what it sounds like..... oh parents. what an infinate source of emberasment.

Keywords

Love My ex Awkward Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 226

You deserved it 5 150

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 948

You deserved it 3 009

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I'd just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 212

You deserved it 85 950

Today, I had environmental science class. My teacher doesn't believe humans are affecting climate change or that we should protect endangered species. He slants class discussions so now all my classmates agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 184

You deserved it 1 121

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 167

You deserved it 4 890

Today, my mother-in-law, who lives with us rent-free, still daily tries to get my wife to divorce me and marry a decent Catholic boy who is actually Irish, unlike me who was born in France, even though we’ve been married 23 years and have three kids together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 110

Today, I was fired from my job because I called out my supervisor for withholding my W-2s (wage and tax statements). I know full well it's a retaliatory action. However, the store manager is ducking all my calls when I try to report it. I can't afford a lawyer, especially when the company is a multi-billion dollar brand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 119

Same thing different taste

It's just a prank, bro!

Life and soul of the party

Misunderstanding

Backfire

When feral kids attack

Double entendre

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