Animals: Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I...

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 994

You deserved it 18 157

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Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 154

You deserved it 6 016

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 179

You deserved it 2 139

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 849

You deserved it 3 603

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 684

You deserved it 4 525

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 472

You deserved it 16 553

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 509

You deserved it 17 451

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 837

You deserved it 5 045

By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 170

You deserved it 153 044

Life's a beach

By Derek - 28/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 1 186

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 382

You deserved it 1 120

RhiannonD 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:36

Why would your boyfriend squeeze a blob of sunscreen and just leave it like that on your leg?

LilKonvicted 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:16

Haven't you heard?? Bird is the word

Comments

sumu 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 23:33

Haha LMAO!... Sorry but seriously bird poop being confused with sun screen... Was your boyfriend around? Did you ask him why he would just leave a glop of sun screen on you instead of rubbing it on you?... I agree with # 33 and 34 completely.

omgitsseejay 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 23:35

at least it wasn't C*M

p89hg69 0

Monday 27 April 2009 0:19

"Thinking it was my boyfriend who was ***sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me***, I rubbed it into my leg." that's some logic

ebbasaur 0

Monday 27 April 2009 0:34

HAHAHAHAHA, to #6 and #8. lol. Bah, Bird bird bird bird is the word. I said a bird bird bird bah bird is the word! LOL!

happycat_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 0:48

How do you know what bird poop smells like? I guess maybe you know what sunscreen smells like and you realized that stuff didn't smell tropical and good? lol I know you had just woken up, but the logic seems off here.

latuka 0

Monday 27 April 2009 1:01

awe man, the word blob is what gets me most.

rt523 0

Monday 27 April 2009 1:46

well atleast its easily washed off... my bf decided it would be funny to draw a huge dick with sunscreen on my back when i fell asleep on the beach...there was a dick on my back for a month (though i did get him back by putting bleach and lemon in his styling gel before we went out on the beach the next day)