Animals: Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I...

By poopedon - 26/04/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 998

You deserved it 18 158

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Same thing different taste

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 157

You deserved it 6 018

By shitlicker - 08/12/2015 04:38 - United States - La Verne

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 182

You deserved it 2 141

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 4 526

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 472

You deserved it 16 556

By oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 513

You deserved it 17 453

By zzfreakshow - 15/10/2013 00:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 5 046

By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 170

You deserved it 153 050

Life's a beach

By Derek - 28/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 1 187

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 384

You deserved it 1 121

RhiannonD 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:36

Why would your boyfriend squeeze a blob of sunscreen and just leave it like that on your leg?

LilKonvicted 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 12:16

Haven't you heard?? Bird is the word

Comments

venom7 0

Monday 27 April 2009 7:03

hahaha #8! That was awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee

tdawgheath 0

Monday 27 April 2009 7:46

1, what everyone said, random blob = dumb But in addition, how the hell does a bird create enough to think that it's enough to cover your whole body with the stuff? did he have a huge meal?

CaptainJellyBean 0

Monday 27 April 2009 8:00

I used to have Banana Boat sunscreen and when I'd squeeze some out, it was lumpy and really did look somewhat like bird poo. So stop harassing the OP about it. Hehe at "Bird is the Word".

chococool223 0

Monday 27 April 2009 9:31

AHAH! that sucks :,)

ful_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 11:06

If there's one thing I've learned from this site , it's that all birds are assholes! When they aren't knocking people out, the little bastards are ******** on them.

dragonmystik3030 0

Monday 27 April 2009 15:24

they say its good luck to be shit on by a bird, just ask my ex gf hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Tj_8 0

Monday 27 April 2009 20:16

at that point id just go wash it off in the water...

planetearth 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 3:56

you thought it was sweet for your bf to leave a gloop of sunscreen on your leg?

patray_angel 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 21:46

I agree with the others, I don't get why you thought your bf just left a glob of sunscreen on you. It is hard to say how long you would have slept for, had it been sunscreen, you would have ended up with an odd suntan. Although, I guess in your defense you had just woke up and obviously weren't thining clearly.

thaurfea 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 2:08

Actually, bird poo is brown, green, or whatever color the food the bird ate is. The white stuff is guano, essentially bird piss. Take comfort in that; urine is sterile, so you at least weren't rubbing any more germs into your skin.