Miscellaneous: Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section....

By Nikse - 29/07/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 357

You deserved it 52 040

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 309

You deserved it 5 341

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 416

You deserved it 1 582

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 3 691

By jess - 30/04/2009 04:51 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 148

You deserved it 10 124

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 654

You deserved it 10 420

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 12:00

Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 437

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 187

You deserved it 2 062

By UglyGirl - 08/11/2015 09:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 362

You deserved it 1 947

May be

By Anonymous - 29/02/2020 20:00

Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 25/01/2015 07:01 - United States

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 520

You deserved it 2 844

BobNietzsche 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 16:07

"Only if you share, honey."

saailaway 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 16:07

"facial care" isle huh? :P

Comments

fmldude123 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 8:39

real smoooth!!!!

paralyzingsilenc 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 9:01

lmao this is 2 funny well next time choose ur words wisely OP

rachelbrianna25 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 9:23

umm yeah next time walk over and ask. lol. your a winner! = )

EveryDayJackAss 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 10:28

female+vibrator=DUN DUN DUN!!!!!

Jeremy93_fml 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 20:38

Now what did you learn today?

skittlesxmonster 5

Thursday 30 July 2009 21:44

lol nuetrogena wave? ya it vibrates not the best thing to shout xD

shamille 5

Friday 31 July 2009 0:52

lol the wave or the blackhead eraser? well i have the blackhead eraser... but idk if one is better than the other. but they're cool... XD

nightDREAMERms 6

Friday 31 July 2009 6:21

Ha! This reminds me of when my friends and I were at Wal-mart and incredibly bored. We decided to do the Things-to-do-when-you're-stuck-at-Walmart List and got to the "Stick condoms in random shoppers carts". We headed to that special aisle and one of my friends who reached the lane first, had the brilliant idea of smirking(evilly) and shouting "MORGAN! I FOUND THE CONDOMS YOU WANTED! DELUXE RIGHT???" at the top of her lungs. Literally everyone around stopped and stared at lil 16-yr-old me. A nearby college guy threw me a sneaky grin- which made me want to die of embarrasment- and the wife of a family of shoppers shot me one of the dirtiest looks I have ever recieved. I ended up having to drag my ROFLing friend away in humiliation. Funny now. Wasn't so much then.

sayheyyybabe 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 3:32

This is hilarious. But why would you shout about vibrators in a crowded aisle? Better yet, why would you ask your mom if you could have the "vibrator" thingy?