Kids: Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few...

By Kelly - 02/10/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 200

You deserved it 38 233

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Nick - 20/07/2013 19:37 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 221

You deserved it 5 117

Thought crime

By Son of a BITCH - 21/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 89

You ******* idiot

By Handuh15 - 31/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 3 260

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 279

You deserved it 3 559

Shouldn't have worn a thong...

By Shouldn'taWornaThong - 10/02/2018 07:00 - United States - Tempe

Today, while shopping at my local grocery store, a young boy came up behind me and pulled my pants down while snickering. I was so shocked and horrified that I dropped the f-bomb. His mother yelled at me for "ruining his innocence". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 643

You deserved it 320

Dream baby dream

By CJ. - 05/05/2021 14:01 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 1 349

Parroting

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 207

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 176

Brat era

By bastards - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 598

You deserved it 4 280

By bigbro - 06/09/2016 08:05 - Australia - Southbank

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 369

You deserved it 4 978

Doortje 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:37

Ohhh she's going to **** you up. Teaching a little kid words like that, how ******* dare you?

juturnaamo 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:57

Accidentally stub your toe. Say Grosh! Or something equally silly. Act stunned and say 'Please don't tell your mom I said Grosh! Im in so much Groshing trouble...'

Comments

Doortje 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:37

Ohhh she's going to **** you up. Teaching a little kid words like that, how ******* dare you?

indielove 13

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:17

You are so ******.

hockey199813 5

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:38

Listen it ******

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:42

Well ****, I guess that means you won't be getting paid.

dre_bro11 12

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:53

Stop ******* swearing.

Jammy01jams 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:40

Omg stop saying the **** word!

max_wilder 9

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:48

Its not really that big of a deal, she won't care that muc it's not like you said it to him directly

Jovecove 13

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:49

'Hi mommy, **** you!'

AnonymousTroll 2

Sunday 2 October 2011 18:11

What the **** is ******* wrong with saying **** all ******* day?

firecopy 6

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:02

fuckity, shit, shit, **** and willy. Willy, shit and **** and... ****.

Rvah07 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:18

Just say that ur neighbor cut herself slicing bread or something creative like that, either that or wash his mouth out with soap...

alexiiiis09 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:19

You better watch your ******* mouth!

firecopy 6

Monday 3 October 2011 2:02

Kings Speech anyone?

nuggin0917 1

Monday 3 October 2011 2:11

Youre ****** up

Iheartfunny 1

Monday 3 October 2011 4:13

1 I was going to thub up your comment but it had 69 thumbs so i couldnt break the chain. Also OP its you own damn fault

lolx7 5

Monday 3 October 2011 5:05

guys.. come on saying **** is really getting on my ******* nerves so shut the **** up!

v3nomously 0

Monday 3 October 2011 5:40

....mom walks in. Aww ****!!

dre_bro11 12

Monday 3 October 2011 6:29

79, you were a little kid once.

divine69 0

Monday 3 October 2011 11:08

78 - we can tell :/

dre_bro11 12

Monday 3 October 2011 16:16

78*

alexisssssssss 0

Sunday 4 March 2012 15:15

48- you ******* ruined it!

yamatelle 19

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:40

Oh, you're ******. Watch his mom come and he screams, "I doo-doo my pants! ****!" Pray that the dad curses also and she might blame it on him, like they always do.

Notimetobleed 14

Monday 3 October 2011 6:39

"Mommy, you finally ******* came to take me home! Where the **** were you?"

perdix 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:43

Let him shit on the couch and then he'll calm the **** down.

numbers878 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:46

How does ******** on a couch calm you?

perdix 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:54

Try it, you'll see. Also, look around and see if you can find a relevant reference. It's much easier than Where's Waldo.

fml_ydi79 15

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:32

4- I see what you did there lol FML

fml_ydi79 15

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:51

Half my comment is missing, so I understand the thumbs down... :)

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:23

Previous FML reference FTW

fml_ydi79 15

Monday 3 October 2011 8:28

That's actually what I wanted to say 45 but it didn't post for some reason

denvan 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:48

A kids brain is like a sponge, you're ****** up the ass and all ways. No more babysitting for you

divine69 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:56

F is also for fail

juturnaamo 29

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:57

Accidentally stub your toe. Say Grosh! Or something equally silly. Act stunned and say 'Please don't tell your mom I said Grosh! Im in so much Groshing trouble...'

MyPerspective 4

Sunday 2 October 2011 15:03

True. Reverse psychology. It will work.;)

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 2 October 2011 12:59

There's only one thing left to do, tie him to a chair, keep his eyes open and put on all kid show ep's about "swearing is bad". Once mommy gets home, pretend like nothing happened. Or else you **** fuckety ****** ****** ******...

newzealand 28

Sunday 2 October 2011 13:07

Time it right, and as the mum comes home pretend to be teaching him how to say "truck". My sister had to be trained to say 'Lorry' instead.

margie4peace 11

Sunday 2 October 2011 19:15

Another great idea, as long as he doesn't already know the word Truck. Probably does.

NoNotTheFace 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 13:07

So how's my little baby doing today? Aww **** mommy I think I did a ******* dooty.

miserypoison 13

Sunday 2 October 2011 13:18

Just say TV said it.

goobergirlie 5

Sunday 2 October 2011 13:34

Tv doesn't say ****. Not allowed. And any show that would comes on late night HBO ****, which he shouldn't be watching anyways.

yamatelle 19

Sunday 2 October 2011 14:26

16-TV doesn't say ****? You obviously haven't seen True Blood. Or Family Guy.

anorexicbarbie 8

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:01

22 Usually the F word is censored on cable tv. True blood though is on showtime, I believe, so I don't think the F word is censored there.

goobergirlie 5

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:56

22- true blood is on Showtime, which is like HBO. And it's something that child shouldnt be watching.

goobergirlie 5

Sunday 2 October 2011 21:59

And last I checked when they play south park and family guy on cable they censor the f word. They wouldn't censor on the DVD, but on comedy central and tbs they would.