Love: Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for...

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 379

You deserved it 4 384

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/06/2009 02:50 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 186

You deserved it 3 790

By QuietGirlSucks - 30/08/2016 15:51 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I tried talking to the very quiet girl in my grade. We were having a conversation when a very hot guy walked into the cafeteria. I said to the girl, "The things I would do for him…" She looked at me dead in the eye and said, "That's my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 743

You deserved it 4 735

Self-esteem boost

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 259

You deserved it 5 462

By izzy_the_pessimist - 10/09/2018 18:30

Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 158

You deserved it 269

By Pissed Off - 07/03/2009 10:13 - Australia

Today, I was walking along the street and passed a young couple. Over my shoulder I heard the girl say to her boyfriend, "Would you still love me if I looked like her?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 531

You deserved it 12 048

By Anonymous - 13/09/2015 13:21 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, while eating at my college cafeteria, I started thinking about all the awful crap going on in my life right now, and I started sobbing. Some guy at another table started snickering at me, at which point the guy I like said, "Give her a break. If I was as fuck-ugly as her, I'd be crying too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 894

You deserved it 2 727

By cheshirealyce - 05/03/2015 17:36 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 625

You deserved it 2 822

Crushed

By annonymous - 19/09/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 354

You deserved it 2 711

Backhanded

By johnny - 05/06/2023 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of a certain plus-sized vocalist, to which she replied, "She's gorgeous!" I said, "That's great because you remind me a lot of her." Now she's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 892

An attempt was made

By Nofatforme - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 834

You deserved it 4 882

FantomOfDarkness 0

Monday 9 November 2009 2:42

I would have said no

elucas 0

Monday 9 November 2009 2:40

Oh man, that's harsh.

Comments

TaterTot5122 7

Saturday 16 August 2014 14:56

Well, she probably didn't want to sound like she had a crush on you, it's kind of embarrassing for your crush to know... She just worded it wrong.

BritMarshall19 11

Tuesday 3 March 2015 7:44

That's when you say "I am a hot guy!!... But no. I wouldn't date you..."

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Monday 8 June 2015 10:52

F-F-F-F-FRRRRIENDZOOOOOOOONED!!!!!

FreelancerGer 12

Tuesday 8 December 2015 19:06

"If you were a hot girl then yes"

DigitalCat 4

Tuesday 5 July 2016 20:00

The savageness....

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 10 July 2016 14:51

Damn that's harsh.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 162

The Top

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 464

You deserved it 2 830

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 258

You deserved it 401

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 1 133

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 967

You deserved it 13 189

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 629

You deserved it 52 377

Today, I went back to my high school for an event with some of my friends, both of which are in relationships. Whilst there we saw our favorite teacher, who hugged us and said, "I heard you have a boyfriend! And so do you!" And then she turned to me and said, "And... And you're doing great things!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 949

You deserved it 1 851