Intimacy: Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented... - FML

By fmlguy382 - 22/06/2011 08:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 302

You deserved it 7 872

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Same thing different taste

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Spicy

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 620

You deserved it 1 755

What the actual ****?

By samrodpuertorico - 13/02/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 3 042

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 16:17 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 662

You deserved it 11 279

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 318

You deserved it 4 358

Close encounters

By blarp - 17/10/2011 04:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 724

You deserved it 2 815

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 635

You deserved it 4 373

By yepintheladiesroom - 07/06/2014 21:37 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 747

You deserved it 5 640

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Spicy

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 075

You deserved it 2 060

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 609

Next

Top comments

Livinia 11

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:08

Would you rather him give you a random hand job?

alicianoar 7

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:08

Congrats on the big penis bro.

Comments

thrashdu2002 5

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:11

was it morgan spurlock

Ukjames1993 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:11

He broke a lot of man rules: 1. You don't talk in a public toilet 2. You leave a urinal free between each man 3. You don't look at other men's dicks And while this one is sort of covered by rules 1 and 3 it's importantance makes it necessary to add. 4. You do not talk about another man's dick (or your own)

fadingfaith 4

Wednesday 22 June 2011 22:03

Is this for real?

YayFlameWarz 9

Thursday 23 June 2011 7:47

If you're a man, you best brush up on your bro code before you glance at the wrong dude across the bar

bycf 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:12

u should feel happy for it... as u r got a big one..... cheers up man... nthg to feel bad abt it...

sportsmaniak13 3

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:13

awakwarddddd

JRFaceless 8

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:13

Just take the damn compliment

lyssaisyourgirl 7

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:14

atleast he didn't try to touch it

melissa1335331 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:15

hahah thats awesome!

DReamBig24 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:19

that's so awkward....

wtfmylifedude 8

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:21

Have some manners! Say thank you.

FreebirdIII 1

Wednesday 22 June 2011 17:29

Did the song "Strangers in the Night" come on, and did he turn off the lights? Did he offer to push your stool in? I think he likes more than your tool.

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The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, I found out that a few years ago, when I lost my kids to my ex-wife, it was because my current wife secretly hated having to be their stepmom, so she conspired with my ex to ruin the custody hearing in my ex's favour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 194

Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 117

Today, I went on a blind date set up by old college friends. The dude was very nice, then we started reminiscing about our high school and college years. I mentioned people doing stupid challenges, which is when I made fun of the idiots who ate Tide Pods. Turns out he was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 102

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 566

You deserved it 2 931

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 911

You deserved it 2 398

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 973

You deserved it 3 619