Intimacy: Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented...

By fmlguy382 - 22/06/2011 08:13 - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 302

You deserved it 7 872

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Same thing different taste

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 620

You deserved it 1 755

What the actual ****?

By samrodpuertorico - 13/02/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 3 042

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 16:17 - Canada

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 662

You deserved it 11 279

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 318

You deserved it 4 358

Close encounters

By blarp - 17/10/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 724

You deserved it 2 815

By Jill - 09/04/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 635

You deserved it 4 373

By yepintheladiesroom - 07/06/2014 21:37 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 747

You deserved it 5 640

By reedcarter - 04/12/2012 02:14

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 075

You deserved it 2 060

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 609

Livinia 11

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:08

Would you rather him give you a random hand job?

alicianoar 7

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:08

Congrats on the big penis bro.

Comments

iranoutofnames 6

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:04

a compliment is a compliment!

raavybaaby_fml 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:05

Awk.

walleneve 2

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:09

imagine what a girl would say.?! lol

mhnilo88 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:16

how is this an FML. just awkward. it would be an FML if he said how small it was.

mickstisy 3

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:33

well at least you know it was sincere

J1hill33 12

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:43

you never what you're gonna get at McDonalds

lisha88 1

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:47

OMG!!! he's so gay I hope u got out of there

snafu63 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:52

a compliment is a compliment.

Infinity_Kuzy 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 21:57

Atleast you know.. don't be cocky about it now that you do! ;D

DH1514 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 22:01

atta boy! tap that

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon, I was nervous; eight, I was pissed. Around ten, I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 23 502

The Top

Today, my long-distance boyfriend wanted to spend time online with me. He kept quiet on Skype and went on a hundred different stupid websites, laughing by himself. Afterwards, he told me he really enjoyed our time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 260

You deserved it 7 009

Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 2 174

Today, after a day spent at the beach, I was looking back through our photos. Neither my husband, sisters, kids, or our friends bothered to tell me that my white swimsuit became a bit see-through when wet. In absolutely every photo you could clearly see my pubes and my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 365

Today, I was talking with my closest coworker about her boss. She told me that she yelled at her and told her, "You capricious and silly girl, you have to be more independent and brave for this job. You are a lawyer; think about your duties." She told me this as her boss came up behind us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 111

Today, at a local mini mart, I tried several times to open a door that clearly said "PUSH" by pulling it, much to the amusement to the customers and staff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 783

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex-wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 7 810

Same thing different taste

What the actual ****?

Close encounters

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