Love: Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted...

By Mandy - 01/03/2009 14:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 918

You deserved it 46 769

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Same thing different taste

By nolife - 30/08/2012 01:33 - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 209

You deserved it 30 071

By em - 05/02/2011 09:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 300

You deserved it 5 912

By Iamlonesometonight - 26/03/2017 18:47

Today, my now-ex dumped me at a house party, which I then couldn't leave, as all my things were at his house, where I was meant to be staying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 321

You deserved it 341

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 260

You deserved it 4 595

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 699

You deserved it 1 244

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 217

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 116

By Kev - 20/08/2014 17:53 - United States - Flemington

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 082

You deserved it 43 841

I need one

By j…… - 14/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 618

You deserved it 56 942

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 06:00

Today, my friend got drunk with me and texted my boyfriend, saying she was in love with him and missed him. Her brother came to my house since she got caught drunk and gave a “lecture” on responsibility. I don't know what’s worse, the lecture or the fact that he’s my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 180

notanightowl 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 20:04

why do you get drunk at your nan's birthday party lol?

jackaaa 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 20:24

Hahaha. Just tell him what you meant to say. It was just a text. Mistakes happen.

Comments

BrianPark 4

Saturday 21 April 2012 13:10

haha just explain this situation to him with full of sexiness then something is going to happen . problem solved.

Ninjasaurus18 9

Wednesday 23 May 2012 13:46

Maybe you should just say grandma. Or grandmother. Or Grammy-gram-gram.

klx125cross 9

Friday 10 August 2012 5:16

Well shit....

NaN101 27

Sunday 5 May 2013 17:38

Always double check, always!

Dodgydaly 11

Wednesday 31 July 2013 5:55

never text while drunk

irgndsondepp 15

Friday 29 November 2013 14:25

You actually wouldn't "deserve it", if you hadn't said that you got drunk.

aneonmoose 11

Tuesday 11 March 2014 9:01

Seems like an overreaction. Hopefully he understood after a bit of explaining.

bleedingglitter 24

Thursday 19 March 2015 6:48

Never drink and text. It's just no good.

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You deserved it 147

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I agree, your life sucks 32 761

You deserved it 4 524

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 46 998

You deserved it 3 512

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I agree, your life sucks 10 517

You deserved it 33 488

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I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 996

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 080

You deserved it 8 076

Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 444

You deserved it 2 809

Today, a professor approached me in the hall to ask if, since I'm a math major, I could tutor one of her communications majors in a required Calculus course. Apparently the volunteer tutor the school provides "is a complete dumbass." I'm the school's volunteer tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 4 508