Intimacy: Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts...

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 725

You deserved it 33 263

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Same thing different taste

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 912

By yup - 05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 205

You deserved it 57 250

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 10 760

By Stuby14 - 23/11/2015 14:31 - United States - Brookings

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 304

You deserved it 5 787

By Peter Steele love - 18/10/2015 00:49 - United Kingdom - Clevedon

Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 143

You deserved it 19 031

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 8 259

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 542

You deserved it 24 118

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 817

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

Candidly

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 04:06 - Canada - London

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 028

You deserved it 7 358

glostik 0

Monday 28 September 2009 16:45

Smooth... Here's some advice: Don't go to her house ever again. Why? Because her dad will be waiting with a baseball bat and you, you will be DEAD. So yeah.. Don't go to her house!

GraceMonica 8

Monday 28 September 2009 16:30

shulda just watched some ****...

Comments

Tech_N9ne 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 16:32

mynmaeislolz HAHAHAHA

jmoose311 3

Friday 2 October 2009 9:41

Why tf are you sending nasty text messages to little girls? How is this in any way, shape, or form a FML? YDI, and you should be locked up in jail.

Stormmetal1 0

Monday 12 October 2009 0:33

its probably like a 14-17 year old girl and it was her Dad on the phone and dads still call their daughters their little girls at any age. My Gf's dad calls her his little girl all the time and my uncle calls his daughter (my cousin) his little girl

im_a_dinosaur 0

Monday 5 October 2009 16:56

how the **** did that happen. hahaha

Bearish 0

Friday 8 January 2010 20:16

same thing happened to me get over it bro

Compass 0

Monday 11 January 2010 18:56

Today, I was feeling horny, so I jacked off. MLIA.

WilAllExpert 0

Friday 22 January 2010 4:20

your lucky that's all he said! lol

arichan_fml 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 16:58

ydi for disrespecting a girl like that.

Mifflicious 18

Thursday 22 April 2010 16:21

Why is that disrespectful? For god's sake, they were in a relationship!

areanii 0

Friday 29 July 2011 4:12

You honestly ARE super lucky. My dad would have straight up drove to your house and got you with a baseball bat, and then let my (very strong) uncle have a whack at you.